Destined for Flames (One Piece Fanfic)

Remember When I Said I Wanted To Be Here? Yeah. Me Neither.

Third Person POV

"The blasing sun adds to the heat of the action as the racers face the new challenge, the Long Coral area! The Cutie Wagon is still in the lead, while the Barrel Tiger continues its desperate pursuit!"

"What's this? The are is covered with giant corals..." Robin murmurs uneasily. Indeed, facing the Straw Hat crew is a veritable forest of pale-colored coral, stretched out of its normal height from just being native to Long Ring Long Land (the name of the island Raya has yet to learn). 

"Hey, look," Nami says slowly, squinting as she takes in the swirling currents trailing in and out of the coral, a maze most wouldn't be able to navigate. "Because of that, the sea currents are moving strangely. We probably shouldn't just blindly charge in..."

"Don't forget!" the announcer chirps, still flying above the racers and commenting on the littlest of things. Back among the rest of the Straw Hats, Raya has the sudden urge to ask Sanji to prepare roasted sparrow. "There is someone on dry land waiting to unleash his wrath! He is our Boss, Foxy the Silver Fox!"

"No one can survive my evil schemes," Foxy chuckles, still riding atop the strange monkey named Hamburg. "Get ahead of them, Hamburg!"

"Okay, Boss!"

Foxy, or rather Hamburg, quickly accelerates, dashing on all fours to move past the anxious racers heading for the Long Coral.

On the other side of the island, the announcer's reports keep coming in, much to Raya's dismay.

"What is he planning?! What exciting things will happen next?!"

"Go get him boss!" the crew of the Sexy Foxy (Foxy's ship) sing. "Yahoo! It's only a matter of time now!"

"Who else wants to fight?" Luffy demands, growing tired of the constant chanting against his nakama. A cook for the Foxy Pirates suddenly appears behind Luffy, holding a ladel in one hand and tapping the Straw Hat captain's shoulder with the other. "Yo, boy," he greets with a messy smile. "Want something to eat?"

Oh, Luffy's eternal weakness strikes again!

"Here's some inari sushi and kitsune udon!" another pirate says cheerily, offering the described food to the rival captain with a flourish. "All free!" he sings, and Luffy's mouth begins to water beyond belief. Drool spills over his dropped jaw, trickling down to the ground in a disgusting fashion.

"Really!! Thanks a ton! It looks delitiouth!" The last part is churned and gargled from the river of spittle trailing down his face. 

It would seem Luffy isn't the only Straw Hat to be sidetracked so easily. Sanji, surrounded by beautiful women in revealing clothing (yet all still wearing the ridiculous mask indicative of the Foxy Pirates), has never been happier in his life. The only thing he can imagine that would in fact make the moment more perfect, was if Nami, Robin and Raya were there also. 

(A/N: Raya: I would rather melt Honoo down, remake it into a hammer, and beat myself to death with it than join in that moronic display of.... grossness)

"I like you best, pretty-chef-boy chef! Come here," one of the women purrs, causing the most perverted expression to cross his face. "Ehehehe! It seems like losing isn't half-bad here," he giggles (yes, a grown man just giggled), thoroughly enjoying having the women cuddling up to him and half-sprawled on his lap. 

Chopper, sadly, is probably the easiest to distract among the Straw Hats. Another of the Foxy Pirates simply hands him a shining, caramel-coated candy apple, and his eyes light up as he licks the excess cotton candy from his lips. "What's that?" he asks. "Is it sweet?"