Newt Imagines

please // 20

A/N: *cough cough* page 250 *cough cough*

Try not to spoil yourselves babes.

And yes I know, another update that is not the next Pity Party imagine. Get off my back (jk. love me. I'm sorry. ugh)

He was begging with you, his sanity visibly shifting behind his eyes. It had been so long since you had seen the honest brown eyes of the boy you had fallen in love with so long ago, when things were much simpler.

There was once a time when you couldn't imagine anything worse than ignorance. The utter uncertainty of the Maze. But you were wrong. That didn't even come close to the raging hell the outside world had had in store for you all. 

The cool metal of the gun was pressed against the palm of your hand, it's weight weighing down on you far beyond it's physical form. Newt, your best friend, your boyfriend, wanted you to kill him. Shoot an unforgiving bullet between his eyes, saving him from his misery.

You wanted his suffering to stop, but you didn't know if you had enough control over your emotions to be the one to pull the trigger.

The silence that stretched before you and Newt threatened to engulf you. The world was ending, people were dying, yet that was all just white noise compared to the air you were sharing.

"I can't", you choked out, tears salty as they ran down your chin.

He moved towards you, pulling your hand up to aim the gun himself. "You know what happened last time I tried this. I failed, Y/N. I can't do that again, and I sure as hell can't become one of them." You shut your eyes, hoping it would all go away.

One of his hands snaked out to wrap around your waist, sending signals of sensation up and down your sun damaged skin. That touch, so familiar, would soon be so far away. 

"This isn't the life I want. I love you so much, but I- I can't do this.." You met his eyes, trying to memorize the light and warmth behind them. He was the most beautiful boy you had ever seen. You wanted him to be yours forever, something precious you could hide away and protect. But fate was too cruel, to bring you two together just to rip you apart.

"Please, Y/N. Please."

Fingers shaking, you pulled the trigger. And as you felt his body slump against yours, you knew you'd never forgive yourself. You couldn't bare looking at the lifelessness of Newt as you turned the gun on yourself, unafraid for the first time in your life of what comes next.

Whatever, wherever it was, it was bound to a hell of a lot better than this place. 

A/N: Sorry, that was really traumatizing. Thanks for sticking around guys, I know I've been a really shitty author lately. LIFE IS SO CRAZY. But that's old news I suppose. You know how I mentioned Pity Party at the top of this chapter? Well I went to go see Melanie Martinez live in February! It was so amazing.

I lined up all day with my friend, and at 6:00 in the morning there was this drunk french guy on roller skates playing hockey with a beer can, riding up and down a ROAD, yelling random broken english at us. It was kind of the best thing ever.

"As long as you have the water, the sky, and the ground, ammiright?"

Yes random french guy. You are right.