Primal Impulse (COMPLETED!)

46. Tampon

Before we start, I just want to let you all know there will be fifty chapters including the epilogue.  So this story will be ending soon.  However, this is one of my fave endings ever.  Dun dun dun......

    I did something I never thought I would do.  I bled on a tampon.  Soaked it thoroughly before the wound had healed.  Stacy was still asleep, and I wanted to get this done before she woke.  I couldn't be here all day with her, I had to review my numbers for the meeting with Kohle.  I also had a meeting with Ted and some of the staff today to see what kind of impact the Lounge had had on the Club.

    Although the numbers had slightly decreased on my end, overall I was still increasing my bottom line, but I wanted to make sure my employees were happy.  I wanted to make sure their bottom line stayed the same, that the tips were still the same, that the customers stayed just as happy.

    Happy.  That is something I had taken away from Stacy, I thought as I aimed the thing and shoved it in her quickly.  She let out a shriek pushing me away from her, while crawling back on the bed.

    I held my hands up, signaling my defeat for a moment before explaining to her.

    "I just put some of my blood in you.  It isn't in a way to make the calling grow, but it should be soaked into the layers of dermis and help you heal faster."

    Tears trickled down her white cheeks and she nodded, understanding what I had done.

    "I don't want you to miss that meeting with Kohle.  I need you there."

    I thought I was all done crying, but then Stoic would do something, say something and start the dry well all over again.  I was beyond heart broken.  I had told him I loved him and he had ignored every syllable, like the breath I took didn't matter. 

    He forced himself onto me, caused me so much pain.  Much more than any burn ever could.  With the burn, once it got through the pain receptors, no pain was felt.  With this, I felt everything, every single tear of my insides.  I had never bled so much, and then to have him fall asleep, wrapped around me like he wanted to protect me from the world, as I cried and tried to free myself, so many things were wrong.

    I trusted him.  I loved him.  I thought he would never be so cruel, that Ruth's blood wouldn't make any kind of difference in him.  That he, was different.

    I can't get over how I felt and how he had manipulated that.  How he had turned my emotions against me, to get what he wanted.  Even in his actions, his words, he was still just as selfish.  He didn't care if I ever healed, but it would get in the way of his work and he couldn't have that.

    He only kept me close, because of the calling.  Something I wish I could go back into time and stop myself from willingly initiating.  I should have known he would turn out like this.  That his anger and inner beast of a vampire would trample his humanity into the ground.

    I watched the wall blankly, keeping the corner of my eye on his movements, waiting for him to leave.  Waiting for this tension when he was around to leave the room, so I could curl in a ball and scream at myself.

    But when he did leave, and I could breath as normally as a crying girl could, I didn't scream.  I wasn't frustrated anymore with myself.  I was exhausted.  I curled into a ball, wrapping the comforter tightly around my body.  The calling started to grip me, and I prepared myself for another torturous day.

    I woke, and turned to stretch.  Breakfast had been brought to me, and had since grown cold.  I got up, ignoring the tray on his side of the king, and walked painlessly to the bathroom.  I peed, and wiped without that cold shock of hurt and decided to explore a bit in the shower. 

    I took the tampon with Master Stoic's blood out and got under the hot spray.  I still felt exhausted, but the water trickling down my skin, making tiny rivers that fell to the floor, washed away the tension I had been holding.  I touched myself, exploring and prodding for that jolt to come, and nothing did.  I was still a little sore, bruised is what it felt like, but the tears were healed, and I could feel softer scars inside me from him.

    After finishing in the shower, I got dressed and took one last look around the room before leaving.