Just A Kiss - BoyxBoy -Complete-

Kean - Chapter 15

He followed me into the bed and snuggled closer to me. I hugged him tightly and rested his head on my chest. I haven't actually realized that he has fallen asleep. I guess he was tired enough and just wanted to shut his eyes out. I still can't believe it. He told me that he disgusts at the sight of blood but he has scars and lacerations on his body. What happened to him? Why did he do that to himself? I know I cut myself to let all the pain out of me and to make myself fall into pieces, but I'm so lost why he'd do that.  He has Jake to pull him up. Is something wrong with them? Is Jake hurting him?

I looked down at him and he was sleeping soundly. His long blonde hair covers his left eye. He is just as beautiful, if it's the right term, as I could have imagined him. Still, some thoughts stir in my mind. To think of his personality, it's just way too ironic for him to do that.  Whenever I look at him, he has this smiles that could make everyone happy, lighten up their mood. There may be times that I’ve seen him down, but those don’t seem to add up.  He has this some sort of magical feeling that spread to everyone he encounters, even maybe to his enemies.

I tugged him closer and let go some of this thoughts and eventually I’ve fallen asleep as well. The next thing I knew when I woke up was that Daniel was not there. I was all alone in my bed. I looked at the watch and I was asleep for about four hours. I got up from my bed and opened the windows a bit. The rain had stopped already and the sky’s almost clear of the dark clouds. I looked at my desk and noticed the two bowls placed by my Mom. One of them is halfway empty and a note was sticking on it.

                Thanks for the whole afternoon. I really enjoyed and I’m glad that I’ve known you more.

                Don’t worry, I will wash your clothes and bring them up by tomorrow. I’ve already

                spoken to your Mom and she’s glad that you have a friend that came here an

                 stayed with you.

                                                                                               Daniel

I went back to my bed and hugged the note. I don’t know what I really feel right now. I can’t just love him, I just cannot. He is engaged and they are now happy together. I don’t want to ruin everything they work out for so long. But, at the same time, I’m happy that someone really appreciates me. It’s like everything within me has become more into him. With him beside me earlier feels like I’m complete.

I opened my computer and started to look at his pictures. I just keep on looking at them like I’m really obsessed with him, but it isn’t really. I just simply admire him and I always think of that one day, when the two of us, if ever, will be together. You just love him, admit it. A voice in my head whispers in me. I wonder if what he tells is actually true. But how can be sure if I really love him. You just don’t. YOU just simply love a person. That is a fact.  I just can’t simply dismiss that. I liked him since I first entered high school and he was just the only person I truly admired the most.

I just got bored after a few moments and went to the bathroom. I soaked myself in the bathtub. I’m still not really sure of what I feel about him. It still hurts me to see him with Jake. They are both happy together. They are perfect for each other and I just can’t really destroy such relationship.

I saw this razor I hid a while back. Maybe if I cut myself I might feel a bit better. I stick the razor on my wrist and slowly cut straight through it. Blood was slowly gushing out of it. The sight of it simply is making it a bit better. Suddenly, the thought of Daniel came into my head again. This is now confusing. I got out of the tub, and went back to my room. I simply stared at the place where we slept and cuddled.