➰ICY➰ Alec Lightwood♣️

➰6➰ Alec♠️

Warning: no action in this chapter, only major Alec Lightwood feelings ❤️

I struggle breathing, while still punching my anger away, but I am not calming down. I don't know why I am so riled up, but the words Coach said to me, shot me right through my weakness, and I hate to admit, but he was right. All my life, I have been a shadow to Jace, my parabatai, I have done everything and anything he wanted me to, because I appreciated him that much. But it takes one girl to come and make him turn against me. Yes, I can be too stuck up sometimes, but usually I am right and he know it.

You are hurt, because you have feelings for him.

I growl at my consciousness and punch the bag even stronger. I don't have any feelings for him. He is just my parabatai and that is why I am so sensitive about this subject.

Keep lying to yourself.

I let out a frustrated scream and throw such a powerful punch, that afterwards I wince as my knuckle cracks open. Blood oozes a little from my wounds, but I don't pay attention. I have to punch something in order to steam off. Out of nowhere, I hear Ivy's voice in my head,her asking about Jace and I get angrier.

It is because she is telling the truth.

"Would you shut up?" I scream and take my head into my hands for a moment. I am going crazy and I don't know what to do about it. Even boxing doesn't seem to help me and that's a first. I ignore this and once again continue kicking with all my might.

It is not until I hear her voice, that I know I am not alone anymore.

"Are you okay?" I am stunned for a moment by her soft voice. She is the last person I am expecting to see here, and certainly the last person ever to worry about me. Slowly I turn around and look at her creased face. She has worry written all over her face, but I try not to be affected by that.

"What are you doing here?" I spit out angrily, but she doesn't seem to be fazed a bit.

"I just wanted to make sure you are okay" she says while taking a step towards me. My eyes widen a little bit, as I look dumbly at her face. I, certainly was not expecting that from he. Ever since the moment this girl has entered my life, she has done nothing but confuse me and my feelings. But this thing, this new caring thing, is certainly the most frustrating thing that she is showing me.

"I am fine, you can go now" I catch myself saying and before I know it, I am turning my back to her. I hope she gets the message and leaves me alone, cause strangely, I am afraid of hurting her feelings in my this crazed state. For a moment, she remains without moving and I start to think that, she is going to exit the rooftop. But instead, I hear her shuffle behind me, and a moment later I am feeling her tiny hand on mu sweaty back. My heart skips a beat automatically at her gentle touch, and my muscles under her hand tense up. Ivy Clover is full of surprises and this is the living proof.

It seems as though, she is feeing the tension coming from me, so she moves her little fingers a little bit, and my heart goes crazy. I frown at myself and take a shaky breath. Why am I reacting to her this way? This is the first girl ever that doing things to me I can't even name.

"It is okay not to be fine, Alec" her voice is a little above the whisper, but her words are like a medicine to my fuming and breaking heart. She shouldn't have this effect on me. I don't like it when people see my weak points and she certainly doesn't have a problem figuring out what those points are. I am not liking it one bit, even though my traitorous heart is yielding for her comfort. But I am not giving up, not this fast.

I slowly turn around, making her hand fall off my back and face her soft and warm brown eyes. For a moment, I am lost in them. It seems like they are calling me, telling me that it is gonna be okay, that I am home. But I ignore it.