➰ICY➰ Alec Lightwood♣️

Epilogue♠️

It has been 3 months since I got the letter from Alec. And almost 5 months since I last saw him.

It is hard. Hard without thinking about him, without seeing his blue comforting eyes, without looking at his beautiful smile, and without hearing his voice. But I managed somehow. It is like I have become a robot, waking up, sulking and doing nothing and then going back to sleep once again. Some days I would take long walks along the beach, but that is the only normal thing I do. The other days I am locked up at the beach house.

Nora comes and visits me sometimes. After all, she is the only one who knows my whereabouts. Being a warlock has its own perks: I have blocked everyone out of this place. They can't fee me. Not even Magnus can see where I am.

After flying away from that warehouse, my life has been nothing but hell. I was bleeding profusely when I got back to my old self. I went to Nora. I was lucky, she was at home, and the moment she saw me, she rushed me inside, tending my wounds without really asking anything. I had been out of it for 5 days. I wish it would have been longer.

Because the moment I opened my eyes, everything came rushing back, and I was bawling my eyes out in a second.

I have killed my own brother in order to save my one love.

This sentence has been echoing in my head for 6 long months. How would you feel if you killed your own flesh, even if he was a betrayer? I should have stopped myself. I should have been stronger. But no. I caved in. The dark side of me took over me and it was just a fraction of second and George was gone. My half brother.

When I was calm enough to talk about 10 days later, Nora came to me. I had a shock of my life, when she told me that she knows about the shadowhunter world. She has the sight, but no powers. But above it all she told me one thing, that I have never in my life expected her to say.

She knew my mother and that is the reason she took me in.

Imagine my shock when I heard those words. Turns out, before Nora came to take me, my mother was keeping an eye on me. They were kind of friends. I don't know the whole story. She was after that demon who impregnated her with me. Yes, George was from another man. Human. But me, I was created by a demon.

And she found him. They killed each other, leaving me completely orphaned. The next day Nora came for me and took me in.

I had only one truth throughout my life: that George was my brother and he was the only one I had left. Turns out he is only my half brother and he wasn't the only one I had left. I had no one. George hated me, because I had these powers but he didn't. Apparently, while telling me his life story, he was lying: he knew where I was. It was my mom who took him. They were tracking me together. And Nora says he has hated me since. Because I was someone 'special' and he was not. I remembered Magnus telling me that, when I take a stele in my hands, I would understand why Valentine needed me. I took the one I burrowed from Izzy, and I understood what Magnus meant. I was powerful, more powerful than any other shadowhunter, because I could create my own runes. It was like an instinct. So, George had another reason to hate me.

Practically my whole life has been a lie. No one truly cared about. Well, Nora says my mom did, but I don't believe her. If she loved me, she wouldn't have left me in that hellhole. No one cared.

Except one person.

And I pushed him away. At the thought of Alec, my eyes begin to tear. I don't hold them back. He was the only real thing in my life and I lost him. After reading his letter, I have been a mess. He said he wanted me back, he said he loved me, but I don't to look him in the eye after what I did right in front of his eyes. I was a killer.