➰ICY➰ Alec Lightwood♣️

➰23➰ Alec♠️

Hit.

I told her I loved her. Just like that. What kind of an idiotic declare was that?

Hit.

She didn't say it back. She just looked at me stunned with her innocent huge eyes.

Hit.

It was neither the right place nor the right time to tell her about my true feelings about her. She lied to me. She hurt me. I scowl at myself internally. I sound like a girl, but is the truth. She practically stood aside and looked while Izzy made the worst mistake of her life.

Hit. Hit.

I practically kill the punching bag with the last punch, but it doesn't break yet. I trusted her. I put my everything in her, and yet she hasn't been completely honest with me. But that is not the worst part. The worst part is, she thought I would have gone and married another woman while I was hopelessly and madly in love with her. But she didn't know that either, did she?

Hit.

Haven't I made my feelings clear? Wasn't I open enough before that she was so surprised at my confession? But it is me we are talking about and I have always had a hard time with voicing the things I feel out loud. So I have my own share of fault. But I though we got each other. Turns out we don't. I hold the punching bag and close my eyes sighing. I am feeing so emotionally drained and tires that I don't even have a strength to walk back to my own room, so I just slide to the ground and look out the roof's glass doors. The city is dead, the night is shining with city lights, the moon is bright at the sky surrounded with thousands of stars. It is beautiful.

Yet I don't feel happy. My sister is getting married to God knows who, my girlfriend doesn't trust me enough, hiding things from me and I can't do a damn thing about them. Sweat is rolling off my muscles, tickling my skin, so I take my discarded shirt off the floor and wipe my shoulders and neck with it. I clutch it tightly in my hand and clench my jaw.

I am so overwhelmed right now that, I want to rip my shirt into shreds. Even boxing doesn't help me to cool off. These feelings that I have for Ivy are practically ripping me apart, yearning to break free. I just want to go back to her and tell her once again how much I love her and then ravish her all throughout the night.

But I can't.

I can't get over the fact that she is hiding from me. That state of her when she barged into the room the other night all shaking and in tears, is still fresh in my mind and I can't shake it off. I am worried as hell, I don't know what is going around in her mind, I don't know what is bothering her and I don't know why she is hiding, but it is killing me. All my life, I always thought that, I would never feel such things for a girl. Yes, I had these weird feelings for Jace, but next to the things I am feeling towards Ivy, they are nothing.

I let out a bitter laugh. I just had to go and fall in love right in the middle of the war, didn't I? With a warlock girl nonetheless. I shake my head and lean it against the wall closing my eyes. My heart is thumping fast in my ribcage, everything mixed up together in my head, my knuckles bleeding slightly and my body all over in sweat. I am a mess. Yet I don't care.

Izzy. I have to do something about Izzy. But I don't know what. Maybe I should go talk to that vampire. God knows why, but I know that Izzy has feelings for Simon. And maybe, just maybe he is the only one that can stop this craziness. Also I will talk to my parents first thing in the morning, when they come for the wedding. I am not letting them ruin my sister's life. If it doesn't help, then I am just going to kidnap Izzy. No matter what, I will stop this wedding from happening. I love my family, I have always been the honorable one, always seeking the best interest of my family, but Isabelle has always come first for me, before my parents. So right now, I could care less about the honor of the family. Neither me, nor my sister, are going to ruin our lives, just because our parents made a mistake by joining Valentine back then.