Never thought it would end this way

"No. You don't mean that."

I stood there crying next to the grave.

"Jason, I never thought it would end this way. I always knew we would have problems, and bumpy rides. But hey, that was part of the roller coaster, wasn't it?" I said, softly talking while gentle tears streamed down my face.

"It's been what, 3 months without you. 3 months since you've left me all alone. It should've been me and you against the world. But, I guess not. I just have to be strong. For the both of us." I spoke. I came here every Sunday, after church. Before, I didn't really go. But now I do, and whenever I went I prayed for Jason to just come back to me.

I remembered the day when Alex told me Jason had passed away.

"Hey Alex, where's Jason I haven't seen him all day." I peered through the kitchen, to see Alex deep in thought.

Alex looked up at me from the table and engulfed me in a huge hug.

"Alex!" Layla screamed and sprinted into the kitchen. Alex let me go and caught Layla when she fell into his arms, sobbing.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Layla looked at me, confused and shocked.

"You should've been the first to know. Alex why haven't you told her?" She questioned Alex angrily.

"Tell me what?"

Alex sighed and looked at me with a sincere look.

"Skylar, Jason died this morning."

"Y-You're lying." I took a step back, "This is some kind of joke, and I know it. Ryan, Chaz, Christian, and Jason come on. You got me, jokes over." My voice cracked.

Alex took me into his arms once again. "This is for real Skylar. He's gone." He whispered.

I couldn't function anything after that. It felt like someone just stabbed me over and over again. I started to think about how I would start to live without Jason. But then I realized, I couldn't live without him.

I started to ball into Alex's arms. I so desperately wanted to just knock down everything in sight and not give a damn.

"How?!" I demanded.

"Nick, shot him." He muttered, looking down.

I started to think of Nick, how he was like a second father. Then the anger inside me was about to boil over. No. It did boil over.

I started thrashing around, yelling how I was going to kill him. Going to get my revenge. But hey, now that I think of it. That sounds exactly like Jason's thinking.

Now I'm staring at a tombstone which read 'Here lies Jason Mccann, R.I.P.' Alex, Layla, and I all had a private funeral, and buried Jason. Well, Alex did by himself, I couldn't even see Jason's dead body. Alex insisted that it was best if Layla and I didn't see.

"Jason, I miss you so much. Alex even had to s-stop me from k-killing myself after the first month. I tried so hard just to try to live without with you. But I can't! You mean too much to me Jason. I could never forget and move on. Layla is even trying to hook me up with others, but I just can't. It was a mistake that you had to leave. It's all Nick Stokes fault." I growled at Nick's name.

I know it seems like I'm just talking to myself. But I do this every Sunday, I update Jason on everything going on in my now, lonely life.

"Schools going great, people have been bothering me for quite a while, but it's starting to die down. Thank god for that, last thing I need is for everyone up in my face after what's happened. The only one who knows everything is Steph. She's doing well, and she's still going strong with Sean." I smiled, feeling the tears starting to die down a little. Keyword, a little. The tears were still crashing down.