Not what it seems

Chapter 9

Hello my beautiful lovelies.... I apologise recently I have lost a bit of motivation. Mean should I keep writing?? Not sure but I wrote this and I hope it's okay and you guys enjoy it. Would mean a lot if you could comment vote and share please!!!!!!!!! Okay so er enjoy....

Recap
I hear footsteps and look up quickly to come face to face with James. He looks nervous and cautious as he approaches where I'm sat. He takes hesitant steps towards me before sitting down and facing towards me. Taking a deep breath he opens his mouth to speak but stops. Shaking his head he heaves a sigh, it appears he is thinking of his words, 'I'm ready. Tell me your story'

Warning- read at own risks. Mentions animal cruelty, child cruelty, murder, death and rape

*Lacey's POV*

I stare for a moment shocked and confused. I honestly didn't think that he would come round and want to know about my story or how I've come to be who I am. I just thought he would hate me forever and that would be it.

'James are you sure? I'm not sure your ready to hear something like this. I want you to understand I really do but I worry' I cut myself off and look down briefly before looking back up at him, he looks confused but quickly replies

'You worry about what exactly Lacey?' His voice is no longer the cold voice he had been using for the past day, it was curious and nervous

I look away ashamed of myself, I had always hated what I had to do. What I was made to become, I hated it and I hated myself. But this... Thinking of just telling James everything, telling him what happened to me and what I had to do it makes me ashamed, making me feel sick and scared that he will also feel that towards me. And what if when the boys finds out. Will they hate me to? Never want to see me again? I can already imagine what this could do and I ... I really don't want to lose the first lot of friends that I've had in years because of what I was forced to become.

'I worry that I will tell you my story, everything James and it won't make a difference. You will still hate me for the monster I have become and so will the others. I don't know... I'd rather you hate me without knowing why than hating me while knowing why. '

'Lacey I can't say how I will feel after what you tell me, what I can say is that I'm confused and hurt right now. You told me to come when i was ready to hear. Well Im here and I want to know' his voice stern as he stares at me

' well I hope you are ready because it really isn't pretty. Okay so it all started when I was little. I don't know what age, must have been five. My parents began to train me, they would make me play these stupid games. I thought they were just boring games but they weren't they was training me up, training me to be what they wanted me to be. I would spend hours outside or in the basement gym training and working hard at what they set me. It was never good enough, not really. I would be forced to skip dinners and meals to keep my weight down because it made me quicker being so thin. I would be locked in the basement having to train. Having to fight to survive. It was horrid James, my childhood ripped from me at 5 and I was chucked in this lifestyle, a lifestyle I didn't want'

I pause as I notice my breathing is becoming erratic, I take a few slow breaths as my eyes meet James'. He looks pained and hurt, his eyes filled with tears and I'm not sure why. Maybe he feels sorry for me. That would be a first. He reaches out and nods for me to continue so I take a deep breath and open my mouth, not sure what will come out next

'It was when I was 8 that I broke my first bone. I mean it's common right, children break bones all the time but they don't break them from fighting. Fighting in such a cruel and disgusting way that 6 of my rips broke from the flip over my opponents back , I dislocated my shoulder and wrist. But you know what happened...'