Unplanned (under construction)

Zayden Carter

Zayden in mm

"I used to advertise my loyalty and I don't believe there is a single person I loved that didn't betray me" -Albert Camus

Knock!
Knock!

My mom knocked on my door and then opened it.

"Hey baby, what you doing" she asked

"Coloring a picture for you mommy" seven year old me said

"Okay baby, but mommy has a friend and I want you to meet him and do mommy a favor"

I nodded and continued to color the paper. My mother came back with a tall white man. He looked at me and smiled.

"Baby mommy needs you to let him kiss you"

I looked at her funny and she nodded. I went back to coloring.

"I promise it won't hurt not one bit" she said

The man came and kissed me. I was always told that I shouldn't let anyone touch my private areas. He started rubbing up my thigh.

I moved away from him and he snatched me up. I started whining for my mom.

"Mommy he hit me" he slapped me on the floor and got on top of me

I started crying and kicking. "Shut the fuck up bitch"

He smacked me and ripped my PJ's. I cried even harder and he punched me. Blood ran out the side of my mouth.

"Mommy it hurts, please mommy" I cried

My mom had been left the room to sniff crack. I cried and cried as he forced himself inside of me.

It was blood everywhere. I just kicked and screamed as my mom let that man rape and beat me for some coke in her system.

I woke up from my dream. At 22 years old, this still haunts me at night. Every since that day I wasn't myself.

I got out of the bed and went into the kitchen. I grabbed me a cup and poured me some hennessy and went back to my room.

I reached in my drawer and pulled out the bag of weed. I got the wrapper and slowly rolled me a blunt. I lit it and took a long pull from it.

I gulped some if my drink down and smoked my blunt. I laid down and I just chilled by myself.

I did this until I was beyond faded and I passed out. I understand than I am sorta a alcoholic and pothead but the pain on the inside won't let me deal.

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