Unplanned (under construction)

Mistakes

Zayden
Fuck, Fuck, fuck I made a big ass mistake. I didn't mean too but I was beyond my limit last night.

I slipped outta the unknown bed. I put my clothes back on and grabbed my keys.

I left his house. I got into my car and left dust and tire marks, trynna leave quickly. When I got back home I thought everyone was sleeping.

"Where have you been" Kevin scared the shit outta me.

"Nun of your fucking business" I stormed put he steps pissed.

I was cursing him out in spanish as I went up the stairs.
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I was on the balcony, sitting in the pillowed chair. I was smoking a cigarette and enjoying the night sky. The stars are just beautiful.

"You always did like the stars"

I turned around to see Kevin. I turned back around and watched the sky and continuing to smoke.

"Zayden can we please talk" he asked walking closer to me

"What is there to talk about"

My voice was shaky and my eyes started to water. I put the cigarette out in the ashtray.

"Us" he was sitting next to me by now

"There is no us" I looked him in the eye and saw sorrow "you broke me"

I whispered as the tears fell. He broke my heart to a point of no return.

"There is an us. I'm so sorry Zay, you gotta believe me. I didn't mean for any of this to happen"

"How is that a mistake" I whipped my face and sniffed as more tears came

"Because it just is"

"Answer me one question"

"Anything" he said

"When did this happen and why"

"It happened right before Khaza was born...ugh she-she caught me and Kacey. The next day she said she wanted a three some...I said no and she said we had to have sex so she wouldn't tell you" he looked at the side of my face because I couldn't look at him anymore.

"But why, I was there for you...I was your fiance, I accepted everything about you" I sniffed "they didn't love you like I did, they didn't lose mutiple babies to try to keep you happy"

I yelled him and sobbed. (Like Tommie did on lhhatl) "they didn't accept a child that wasn't theirs, they didn't stay up late night for you, they didn't have a fucking home cooked meal almost every fucking day, they didn't fuck you on a regular even when they weren't in the mood, they couldn't and wouldn't do what I did" my heart couldn't take much more

"I'm sorry" he said

In a swift move he kissed me. I hate to admit it but I still love him and I want him to hurt as bad as I do.

He slipped a hand up my shirt. Things were going so fast that my brain couldn't process. By the time my brain caught up, he was already eating my pussy like it was his last meal.

"Fuck mmmm" he was doing shit with his tongue.
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***3Week's***
I just made yet another mistake. How could I be so fucking stupid. I'm so stupid. I hate myself.

I sat in my room and cried as rubbed my flat stomach. I don't wanna put up with this. I wanna make it all go away but my kids need me. They need their mother.

"How could I be so stupid" I said and hit my fore head with the palm of my hand.

^^^^^^
Sorry this chapter took so long but I'm very busy and today I was less busy so here's an update
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