Being An American YouTuber//Sam Pottorff

♡Chapter 12♡

I threw my last few items into my blackish grey suitcase before zipping it up casually. I gently took my suitcase off my bed and fell down onto it. Yes, my bed, as in Sam has not slept in it in the past 3 days. Yes, we haven't talked since the big blow out. I love Sam dearly, I mean don't get me wrong, but I don't know. He went in too deep this time. 

See, after I came back from the little ride with Jc, Sam freaked out again saying this it what he means by me and Jc having some little love thing going on, which is completely faulse. I cut things off with Jc way back before I even graduated. Not to mention, Jc is over me and I'm over him, he has Tori and they've been together since March, so about 7 months.

I was very confused why Sam had these sudden outburts, until I took the ride with Jc. When I found out that Sam was smoking weed every once and a while I couldn't help but to die a little on the inside. So when I went home I understood why he was freaking out so much, because he was high. 

It didn't go so well to say the least. No, he didn't hit me or something, he just went way too far into the past, it was the worst fight we've had in a while, but I don't know really. I just feel different ever since that night. Like my whole perspective on Sam changed. Like almost as if I didn't love him anymore.

I mean don't get me wrong, I do. I love him with all my heart, but I just don't know if I feel the same about us as I did before. I think this trip will be good though, good for me. Good for him, good for us. I don't think I'm going to break up with him, I just want to take a break from him for a few weeks, so I definitely think this trip will be the perfect chance, get my mind off of it.

I just hope I don't fuck things up with Jc. 

"Mais, you got all your stuff packed?" Jc asked me nicely. Best friend ever, right here, this kid. 

"Yeah, I think so." I smiled at him. 

"Good, we're gonna head out in a few minutes so be ready." He said. 

"Got it." I said back to him as he took my suitcase out of the room and down to Kian's car. He's taking us. I fixed my long dark brown hair into a cute little ponytail tightening the elastic. I fixed my thing pink cardigan and white ruffle tank top, then moving down to my bottoms. I brushed the little fuzzies off my black cropped leggings and then slipped into my black combats.

I walked downstairs avoiding Sam as much as I could. He was sitting on the couch watching some dumb show with Trevor. I could care less about his dumbass right now.

"Alright, I'm ready." I said to Jc and Kian. Jc nodded and Kian smiled.

"Alright guys, we're off. See y'all in two weeks!" Jc said. We gave each other hugs goodbye. I gave every single guy a hug, and then I came to Sam. I looked over at him breifly analyzing his emotions. Sad, regretful, angry, unsure, nervous. I gave him a subtle glare and walked off with Jc. I don't wanna go anywhere near Sam as of right now. 

I got into the passengers seat since Jc let me sit up there instead of the back. I plugged my phone into the input and turned on some Hoodie. Because like really, why not? He's perfect. As we drove off I drifted off, kinda looking anywhere analyzing anything. 

I looked down at my stomach sadly. I know I said I was on board with this pregnancy shit but I don't want to get fat. I'm not anorexic or anything, I just, I don't know. I am very particular about my body type/shape. I don't like the flab or fat. I like my flat stomach, thigh gap, hip bones, and collar bones. I don't want to loose those.