Being An American YouTuber//Sam Pottorff

♡Chapter 22♡

~~Sam's POV~~

It's 2 in the morning and I was just about asleep until I heard a blooding curdling scream coming from Maisie. I shot up and picked her up into my lap wrapping my arms around her as I stroked her hair. Tears just kept coming out of her beautiful brown eyes making my heart break a little bit more each time. I don't know what had happened or what she was crying about but I'm sure it had something to do with remembering or just a little nightmare. 

"Mais, what happened?" I asked her quietly. 

"I-I don't know.. I r-remembered it all I think." She stuttered.

"What did you see in your dream?" 

"Well it started with like when I first got to California, and then I went to the store and some girl attacked Jenn and I with a bunch of comments, and then I took a pregnancy test and it turned out positive, and then we went to the doctors, and then Jc and I decided to visit Texas but you blew up on us and then you and I got in a huge arguement and practically broke up and then I went to Texas and Jc and I had this big conversation and then we went to San Antonio the next day and then I spent some time with my family and I accidentally hit myself on the coffee table and I h-had a m-miscarraige." She rambled shakily. "Did I seriously remember it all?"

"Yeah Mais, it all happened. I mean I'm not sure about the Jc part because I wasn't there, but I'm sure that happened." I said. 

"I just. I'm at a loss for words." She sighed tears still following. "How are you dealing with all of this especially when you have to deal with me being like this in addition to that?"

"Because I've learned to be strong for not only myself, but for you too." I said kissing her forehead. 

"But I don't know. I was actually looking forward to the baby and then it had to be taken away from me. Why? Why is it that when everything seems to be going good in life, it has to be ruined by something?!" She exclaimed. 

"Princess, calm down, it's okay." I said softly trying to calm her down.

"Is it Sam? Is it all okay?" She said still overly loud. 

"Mai-"

"It's not Sam. Life fucking sucks. Life can't just be good for me, it ALWAYS has to be ruined! Do you know how frustrating all of this is for me?! At this point I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again." She said making my heart stop. To hear that honestly makes my heart stop because it makes you think a bit. Did I really do such a horrible job at keeping her happy? Was I not a good enough boyfriend? Did I never treat her right? 

I felt like I only had myself to blame for her not caring if she was dead or alive. I know I shouldn't feel like it's my fault, because honestly, it's not. But a part of me just can't help it. I want to know what is so horrible in her life to not even care of dying.

If I even thought about me dying right now, I'd get anxiety. But that's just me. I mean yeah my life has some pretty shitty things in it, but my life is amazing. And honestly, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I have an amazing understanding family, I have 5 amazing brothers, I have fans who genuinely care for me, a successful career in YouTube, and most important..