Mickey's Lessons on Bad

Lesson 16: Sarcasm... Everyone's Second Language

“You? Out of everyone in this town, you’re going to back out of this?”

       “I am.”

       “But–”

       “I’m sorry, man. I thought this idea was good, but… but you’re just not doing anything. I stepped out of the picture with enough time for you to snatch her and what happens? I end up in the picture again... which is how things are supposed to be. You’re a dumbass, so why should I give her up for you?”

       “C’mon. Think this over–”

       “No. Now, get the fuck out of my face.”

 *

With trembles in her body, Michelle walked into the school, a killer grip on her backpack strap. She refused to make eye contact with anyone as she walked down the halls towards her locker.

       “Hey, Michelle.”

       She jumped and looked over at the owner of the voice to see none other than Mickey Varsity walking along side her. “Oh. Uh, hey, Mickey,” she greeted in a mumble, turning her head away from him.

       “What’s wrong with you?” he inquired, snaking an arm around her waist and pulling her against his body. “You’re quieter than usual and much weaker…”

       “It’s nothing,” she murmured, watching each floor tile pass by. “I’ll, uh, see you later.” She lifted her head and pressed a kiss to his rough cheek. Michelle pulled away with a questioning look, catching sight of the stubble growing on his cheeks. “Are you trying to grow a beard, or did you forget to shave?”

       Mickey wore a playful grin on his lips. “I don’t know; it depends. Do you like the stubble?”

       She stared at the stubble for a moment and scrunched up her nose. “I would, but on an older man,” Michelle answered honestly, hints of playfulness in her voice as well. “If you want facial hair, try growing one of those high school mustaches.”

       He chuckled and shook his head at her. “Okay, okay. So, I forgot to shave then.” They laughed in unison before Mickey stopped and pulled her to the side.

       “What are you doing?” Michelle asked, raising an eyebrow.

       He raised his own eyebrow and retorted, pointing to the locker behind her, “Isn’t that your locker?”

       She spun around, eyes widening at the sight of her locker. “Wow. I didn’t realize–” She stopped talking and faced Mickey again, who was watching her confusedly.

       “Are you okay?” Mickey asked carefully as his eyes scanned her face, checking if anything was wrong.

       “I’m fine, but… but can you go?” Michelle asked shyly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Next thing she knew, she was pushed back until her butt hit the lower locker with Mickey’s chest pushed up against hers, his hands caging her.

       “And why?” he responded, raising an eyebrow. “Got a secret lover you’re meeting up with?”

       She shot him a flat look and sarcastically replied, “Oh, definitely.”

       “Congratulations!”

       Michelle’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Pardon me?” she said.

       Smirking, Mickey explained, “You just skillfully passed lesson sixteen… Okay, not that skillfully, but good enough.”

       Her eyebrows pulled from each other, so her right eyebrow could raise as if repeating her, “Pardon me?”