Find Her, Keep Her (CFTM Sequel)

Dear Nobody (Journal Entry 3)

Alex

September 18th, 2015

Dear Nobody, 

According to Google, there are currently over seven billion people walking around the world as we know it--

--and I'm pretty sure that most of them are lined up outside my dorm right now.

No joke.

But before I get into the juicy details behind the million girl mob, let's go back to how it all started.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who tried to move into the math building instead of her dorm room. 

Here's how it all went down.

Twenty minutes earlier:

My Life as a Mini Movie: TAKE ONE, SCENE ONE: "ALEX GETS SUPER LOST ON CAMPUS!"

ACTION!

It finally happens. 

My $62.00 taxi ride from LAX to UCLA comes to an exciting end on the borderline abandoned south side of campus.

CAMERA ZOOMS in on my crook of a taxi driver. He's old, needs to shave, and is generally creepy. 

Think Joe Peshi meets Crispin Glover (circa Charlie's Angels).

Anyway, he smiles menacingly as he snatches the cash straight out of my hands, revealing at least four gold teeth--like from Home Alone.

His hairy fingers glisten with sweat as he pops open the trunk. His nails are dirty. He's probably too lazy to clean them. He's also too lazy to get out of the car and help me.

Go figure.

Anyway, as expected, Creepo doesn't move from the sweaty sink hole his butt's created in the driver's seat.

CLOSE UP of me, the amazingly resilient main character, silently cursing him under my breath.

But despite the verbal abuse, I politely wave goodbye and dash out the door faster than Jiminy Cricket on crack. 

I rush around to the trunk, too excited to worry about the nearly seventy dollar hole in my pocket, and yank out my bags without batting an eyelash.

The second my suitcase travel wheels hit the California pavement, reality sets in.

Cue "Chariots of Fire" background music.

This is it ladies and gentlemen, I've finally arrived.

I spin in circles smiling at the cloudless sky like a lunatic.

A couple passersby point and stare, but I'm too slap happy to care.

This is the day my life begins.

I'm three thousand miles away from my parents, my house, and all the crappy memories I've spent the last year trying to forget.

So essentially, I'm walking on California sunshine, and some taxi creep isn't gonna ruin my moment.

Once my senses return, I grab my gargantuan suitcases and happily jog towards the nearest building (which I assume is my dorm).

I see a UCLA grey modular structure built circa 1970s in the distance.

It's tall, it's ugly, and mildly resembles a prison camp so it must be home.

I pick up my pace and eye the handful of students loitering around old school vending machines with their friends. Maybe these are my future roommates, maybe these are my future classmates, who knows?

The possibilities are endless! Why? Because I'm a college girl, and college is where dreams come true.

I skip along merrily as my inner introvert basks in the overall lack of move-in day crowds around my brand new dorm.

Low key is good. Low key I can handle. 

I stroll up to a pair of glass and metal double doors, kick em' open like a ninja, and step inside to begin the optimistic search for my dorm room.

I breeze through empty hallway after empty hallway, too slap happy about finally making it to my first ever college "pad" to notice any of the signs.

Minutes pass before I notice a little blue and white sign from the 1980's with "Statistics Dept." written in all caps.

My face falls a muscle at a time.

This is not my dorm.

This....

...is the Math & Science building.

Nice.

Way to move in like a champ, Alex!

#FAIL Flashes across the screen in giant red letters.

Roll Credits.

So, ladies and gents of the college world, here's what I've learned from getting totally lost on my first day at UCLA.

Freshman Survival Tip #1: Always read the signs (especially big obvious signs), 'cause if you don't, it could mean trouble's ahead, and you won't even see it coming.

-Alex