Chapter 46 (Part 1) *NEW*

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Elias

There's always that moment, right before you snap, when you can choose whether or not you let yourself lose control.

Whether you're going to be a man, swallow your pride, and act like the person you're supposed to be, or just give into the person you already are.

Right now, I'm split, stuck somewhere in between being the bigger man or letting all hell break loose.

I tell myself to breathe. To let the bitterness burning through my lungs out into the open before it destroys me. But my mouth doesn't move. My jaw's locked up with the kind of anger that leaves your muscles raw, rigid, and capable of doing unpredictable, terrible things.

My fists follow the pattern. They ball up like a boxer's--just itching to let out the tension building up in my arms and shoulders in the only way I know how.

I wanna calm down.

I wanna back off from the rage kicking up a hurricane in my chest, but I can't. Not after seeing one of the only guys I trusted throw it right back in my face. Not after finding out my mom's been seeing him behind my back. Not after spending the last three years praying to God that my mom would stay single just to keep her from getting her heart broken all over again.

I can't watch him try to love her and leave her. I can't watch him make promises to her and my family that he ultimately won't keep. 'Cause the only thing I learned from the last man who tried to be the head of this household is that nobody can promise anybody anything.

It's easy to cheat, to lie, to let your feelings die. To say you'll give someone the world and then pull it out from under their feet the second they trust you.

The second they give their life to you.

The second their children decide to depend on you only to find out that you're off screwing someone else.

I love Dan.

Loved Dan.

But this is too far.

He is not my father.

He's not a replacement for my father.

He's not my family.

And he's not supposed to be in this house.

Not like this.

Not ever again.

Before I even think to stop myself, I'm flying across the room--bolting towards Dan with pure adrenaline pulsing through my veins.

My mom's screaming at me, begging me to slow down, to think, to stop, but it's too late. I breeze past her even though she's digging her hands into my shirt to keep me from doing the inevitable.

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