The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 69

A/N: Play the song towards the second -- or separation whatever you wanna call it.

Camila's POV

Everything hurt. Everything ached. And nothing seemed real. But only for a second. Just before I'd fall into the pit of oblivion that my demons had been urging me to be a part of. And there, nothing hurt. Because I felt nothing. But the little glimpse of light that still existed in my heart was the only thing that kept me at bay. And that was my irrevocable, and foolish love for her. But the second I remembered that she was gone and out of my life, I wanted to dig my nails into my skin and rip my heart out. Being without Lauren felt that way. But being with her, also felt that way. It always have. And it's own toxicity was enough to numb me from realizing it.

But that's the thing about love. You're blinded. And transported into a world that suddenly doesn't seem your own anymore. And when you realize that this...this is the only person you want, the only person you can't live without, is when you're fucked. I was fucked the second I bumped into her. And a part of me wishes that she would've kept walking. That she would've let me have it. But another par of me, can't help but keep falling in love with that moment. The moment that she changed my life. Lauren Jauregui was possibly the worst and most beautiful thing that could've happened to me. But that was the thing about her. The thing that kept my head and heart reeling even after she let me go. And that in itself is toxic.

But what I've come to learn in the four weeks that she left, and moved away, is that she had a point. Our love had become unhealthy, obsessive and even dangerous. And maybe she was right when she said that our present didn't include us together because of that. But either way, my heart couldn't help but disagree with every word she said.

And that's because I didn't want to believe that she broke up with me. I tried to make up excuses for her departure as if trying to justify it, but what she did, wasn't right. After the trauma of almost losing her, she leaves me on a hospital bed with a hurt leg and fractured ribs. She left me to let me live my life. But if that was the case, I wanted to die when I should've of been the most alive.

And that...was exactly the problem.

As I looked up at the starry sky, I couldn't help but compare the galaxy above with the one in her eyes. The green galaxy I loved so much. And the only galaxy I wanted to be apart of. I wonder if she was looking at the sky too. At the big moon...that today, seemed as lonely and isolated as ever.

As I thought about her, I heard the grass crunch next to me. I turned to see Darren laying there, looking up at the sky just like I was.

"You know..." He began, "All the fun is inside." He said referring to the movie night we were supposed to be having.

"I know. I just needed to get some fresh air."

"Still thinking about her, huh?"

"Haven't been able to do anything but that."

"You've been sulking around for days, don't you think you should do something to get your mind off what happened?"

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because it's not that easy Darren."

"I know but you at least gotta try."