The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 37

"What do you regret?"

"Not meeting you sooner."

"Me?" Lauren said in disbelief, "Why?"

"Two years into high school I started to get bad again. I was becoming self contious about myself and let the memories of the previous years haunt my very existence. I was starting to become that person again, but my friends didn't let me. They did their best to keep me a float, but most of the time their efforts were in vein. And the day that you stopped those jerks from beating me up was the day you saved me. You didn't realize it then but it was because of you that I had hope again. You made me believe that there were good people out there; who care and did their best to help others when in need. You made me believe that I still mattered. That I still had a reason to live since it was you who spared my life. And since then, I noticed you around more often then I used too. I mean I always knew who you were and thought you were beautiful but I had no idea that you were beautiful on the inside too. And when I came to that realization, I started to fall for you. And that's also when I started to find out more about myself and my sexuality. And it was all thanks to you."
--
Camila's POV

Lauren sat there with her eye brows furrowed as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "Camz... I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. You've already done enough."

Lauren closed her tear stained eyes tightly and shook her head lightly, "I didn't know it was that hard for you. I didn't know what they were doing was hurting you. I should have stopped them. I should have stopped them every time. I'm sorry." Lauren simply muttered in self hatred. "I'm so sorry Camz."

"Lauren don't you get it? The reason I'm still alive is because of you. You're the reason why I wake up in the morning. The reason why I want to go to school. The reason for my existence"

"But I'm a terrible person Camz. I don't understand how someone as beautiful as you could love someone like me. I mean it's my fault that our school is the way it is. It is because of my own selfish needs that I cause pain to others. It's because of me that you were hurting again. I just-" Lauren said closing her eyes even at the sight of looking at me, "I just wish that I would've known. That... I would've met you earlier. So things wouldn't of have gotten this bad."

"You need to stop being so hard on yourself." I told her putting a supportive hand on her shoulder." I know what it's like to struggle to fit in. And even some of the lengths that you need to go through to achieve it. So I don't blame you Lauren. Because it's not your fault that our school is the way it is. Before you even met your friends, it was just you. And you were never that bad. Sure you would pick on us, but you never had the intention of hurting us and that was the good thing about you. It was your friends that later made our pain their gain. They let things get this bad, not you."

"I should have- could have done something." She corrected herself. "I just...I just stand there and watch sometimes." She said closing her eyes tightly and looking away. "And I don't even say a word." She managed to say before she broke down. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry." She almost whispered. "I'm so sorry Camz."

"It's okay. I forgive you."

She looked up at me as if she hadn't understood. Her brows tightly knitted together and her lips slightly parted.

"I forgive you." I repeated. "I forgave you the day you saved me."

She shook her head before she whispered, "Camz-"

"Look, I already forgave you. There's no take backs." I said with a playful smile.

Lauren's green eyes stared into mine tenderly before she let out an exasperated sigh to calm her self down. "Ugh I really fucking love you, you know that?"