The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 70

A/N: Play the song towards the end.

Narrator's POV

"I miss her." Lauren pouted before she plopped a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"I don't know why you're putting yourself through this." Darren told her.

"I'm not. I'm doing it because it's what's best."

"And does it feel that way?"

"Nope." Lauren said pulling the spoon out with a pop.

"I still can't believe you two fucked in the closet during English."

"Me either. You know, I thought I had more control over myself."

"You control? Funny."

"Shut up. I tried okay."

"You two should just get back together already."

"We can't. Not when she acts like I'm her whole world. Not when I can't keep it in my pants whenever I see her."

"I don't think you'll ever be able to do that."

"I just really like fucking her okay? Before her, it didn't feel as right. Everything with her just feels...infinite."

"Lauren-"

"And seeing her face how it scrunches up when I-"

"Okay TMI." Darren interrupted.

"Sorry I just really miss her."

"..."

"I think what I miss the most is that thing she does when she smiles like a goofball and sticks her tongue out at you. You know when she puts it in between her teeth." Lauren smiled, "Or when she rolls her eyes at me when I piss her off. Or how she puts me in check when I'm being too blunt."

"Lauren."

"Mmmhm?" She hummed before she mindlessly put the spoon back in her mouth.

"Instead of telling me how much you miss her, why don't you go do something about it?"

"Because. At the end of the day it's not healthy."

"What is?"

"Our love. It's dangerous and I just don't want her to get hurt again."

"..."

"She could've...she could've died a month ago and it would've been all my fault." She said clenching her jaw, "And the fact that she forgave me after that...drives me crazy."

"Why?"

"Because. She should've been mad at me. She should've broken up with me. She should've done anything else but forgive me. It was like she didn't even care if she died. And the fact that she puts me and our love before her own life is insane."

"I guess you have a point."

"I just want her to love herself. Because right now, her world's all about me. And if making her hate me, by coping my way, then I guess she'll have to hate me. Because I can't possibly teach myself the same thing if I can't make her just a part of my world first."