The Girl Nextdoor

Chapter 17

"You're not actually considering on dating her are you?"

"I am."

"But-"

"But why?" She interrupted me.

"No. Why her?"

"Because... she wants me for who I am."

--

Lauren's POV

"And I don't?"

"No Lauren, you just want me. You don't want or need me and that's the problem."

"You're wrong. I want every part of you."

"No you don't. You want the submissive part of me, the part of me that caters to your desires. And that's not who I am. That's not what I want."

"And what do you want?"

"..." She stayed silent.

"What do you want?!"

"..." She shook her head again and closed her eyes tightly.

"Exactly Camz. I want you and you want me. End of story." I said before I cupped her face and crashed our lips together. She fought me for a while and I thought she'd eventually give in. But she didn't. She pushed me away from her and wiped her lips.

"You're too late."

--

Camila's POV

I looked her dead in the eyes when I said it. I knew it was a complete lie, but she didn't. By the shocked and hurt expression on her face, you could see that she believed me.

"I'm sorry Lauren."

"You don't just fucking move on that quickly. You can't. You-"

"-I wasn't going to keep chasing you forever. Do you know how long I've been waiting for you?!"

She shook her head.

I stifled a laugh. "I bet you don't even remember that day, do you?"

"What day?"

"The day you saved me."

She furrowed her brows in deep thought.

"Don't loose a pretty little hair on your head trying to remember. You probably don't."

She thought carefully, trying to recall the moment. "Wait..." She said shaking her head lightly. "You were that girl.... the girl who I bumped into that day."

My eyes widened in shock.

"Yeah. You were that cute girl that Madison wanted to kill. I remember...-"

I furrowed my brows and shook my head lightly, "-This doesn't change anything. The point is that since that day, I've been in love with you. And it sucked so fucking much to know that I couldn't have you because we were too different. And we're still too different. We always will be."

"That's not true-"

"Lauren, come on now. Don't kid yourself. You would never want to be with me. You'd be too embarrassed and you don't do relationships. And that's what I want. I don't want a fuck buddy."

"Then why did you-"

"Accept?"

"Yeah."

"Because I love you, you idiot."

"Then be with me." She said grasping my hands.

"You're not understanding me." I said in frustration. "You're too late Lauren. There's someone out there who is willing to love me for who I am regardless of what people think. She's willing to take the next step without a second thought. And she's willing to help me forget about you."

"But... you don't want her. You want and need me."

"I can learn to want her. I can learn to need her and you know what? I can learn to love her too."

"You can. But you know something else?"

"What."

"You don't want to forget about me. You just feel like you have too. You're lying to yourself by trying to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing. But deep down, you don't want too. And because of that, you won't."

I felt tears begin to stain my eyes. She saw right through me and I hated it. I hated how everyone could read me like an open book. I hated how their words of truth haunted me in the back of my mind and prevented me from doing the things I had to do for myself. But what I hated the most was the fact that Lauren knew. She knew everything. And she would always know everything.

I had to leave. I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled my hands away from her and attempted to leave but failed because her next words stopped me.

"So that's it?! You're just going to give up on me?"

I spun around and met her dark green eyes.

"No Lauren. You gave up on me. You let me go. And now it's time for me to move on."

"Move on? Haven't you heard a thing I've said. You won't move on. You can't. And do you know why?"

I shook my head and closed my tear stained eyes tightly because I knew why.

"Because you fucking love me." Lauren almost whispered then shook her head lightly. "You fucking love me. Not her. You want me and only me. And it will always be that way."

I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks effortlessly. She was right. I would always love her. But that didn't mean that I couldn't love someone else too. It was time for me to turn the page or at least forget about that page. Even if it was just for a while. Because if I didn't, I would be stuck forever.

"I can't do this anymore." My voice cracked at the end, before I left her in complete and utter shock. And I wasn't lying. I was sick of this. I was sick of chasing her. Sick of fawning over her. Sick of rejection. Sick of being stuck in the same place. Sick of pain. Sick of wanting what I can't have. I was sick of being in love with Lauren Jauregui.