reckless - h.s / mature content

17 - pinky promises

Millie

I woke up with a throbbing headache and dried tears on my cheeks. I must've cried in my sleep, because I haven't cried when I was awake. That's how fucked up I am, crying in my fucking sleep.

Today was Monday, but my alarm didn't woke me up which meant that it was way before I had to get up. I looked for my phone, but couldn't find it, so I got up and looked in my pocket in my jeans and found it there. The watch read 5.32am, so I had half an hour more time than usually. I was feeling like complete shit and my motivation for college were zero, but I had to go.

I quickly made myself a coffee and drank it alone, sitting on my kitchen counter and thinking about what happened. I knew I had to keep Harry at distance, because he really hurt me yesterday. Maybe it wasn't his intention, but he still did it. And it's been too much for me yesterday. So many emotions were brought up, I just didn't knew how to cope with them all. So I thought keeping my distance would be a good idea.

After I drank my coffee, I took a quick shower and dressed myself in a black skinny jeans and a hoodie, packing my stuff for college and leaving at 7.30am, my first class started at 8am. I walked out of my apartment and took the stairs down, hoping I would not meet Harry until classes, so a conversation could be avoided.
I left the house and walked along the busy street, everyone in their ways to work or college, too. I lit myself a cigarette and slowly inhaled the smoke, just to exhale it right after.

"Mrs., what are you doing?" I looked next to me, to see a little boy standing there and watching me closely.
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to sound nice.
"That thing in your hand? It smells pretty bad." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Is this even healthy?" He asked, sounding worried. I smiled lazily. "No, it's actually not healthy at all and if you are smarter then me, you will never ever start okay?" I answered him, going on my knees to be on eye level with him.
"But why are you doing it then?" He didn't wanted to give up the subject, which made me smile, he was so innocent. "I'm doing it, because sometimes I'm not smart at all. But if you promise me to never start, I promise you to quit okay?" I offered him and he smiled instantly and nodded. "Okay, but you have to pinky promise me!" He almost yelled in excitement and I laughed. "Alright," I threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it, then I hold out my pinky finger, "I, Millie, do promise to quit smoking, if you.." I looked at him. "I'm Dustin." he smiled. "Okay, if you, Dustin, promise me, to never start." I lifted my eyebrows and he connected our fingers. "Pinky promise, Millie." he smiled, "Pinky promise." I answered.

I kissed his cheek, "now go to school little boy, learn something." I tried to sound stern but he just laughed, wiped his cheek and hugged me tightly. "Bye Millie, I hope I will see you again." and with that he walked in the other direction and left.
"Me too, little boy." I yelled and he waved me goodbye.

I still smiled stupidly to myself, that innocent little boy just made my day a lot better. I didn't knew if I could keep my promise, but he didn't need to know about that, did he?

"That was cute." someone behind me said with a raspy, sexy morning voice and I instantly walked away, already knowing who he was.
"Millie, wait." Harry said and I heard his footsteps getting faster, as he was trying to keep up with me.
"Get lost." I told him honestly and walked faster. "Let me explain." He pleaded and that's when I turned around and he was crashing into me, not expecting that I'd turn around.
"Fuck no," I spoke through gritted teeth, "you don't need to explain anything. You and I are not in a relationship, you can fuck who you want and so can I. I can do what I want and don't have to care about you. So there is no need to explain anything to me." I fake smiled and turned around.
"But you are hurt." he said and that's when tears started forming in my eyes.
"No, I'm not hurt about what you did Harry. Do not think that your actions are the cause for my emotionality. I'm hurt about a lot of things, but you are not on the list." I said, still having my back turned to him. To be honest, I just lied, but my feelings were not Harry's business.