It's Impossibly Love

Chapter Nine

Alice's POV:

When we got home we just hung out  upstairs. Still awkward. Still silent.

So I decided to break the ice a little.

I get off the bed and go sit beside Jay who's sitting on the floor on his phone.

I sit there for a moment waiting for him to take notice of me.

"You have a high pitched voice for a dude." Of all the things I could've said!

"Yeah I've got a vagina too so what?" He says not looking up from the phone.

I blush a bit. How did it take me so long to figure out he's trans? I mean if he's this straight forward with everybody....

"Well fine then I thought you'd be nicer then that..." I begin to stand up when finally he looks at me and grabs my wrist pulling me back down.

"No no no no no...sorry." He grins. "Honestly that was my sad attempt at making a joke..."

"Oh..well...ya...that was my attempt too.." Wow this is going well...

"Hey Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you like penis?"

My face turns a bright shade of pink.

Did he read my mind earlier? Is that what he was doing in all that silence?!

"Uh......"

"Eh never mind." He says turning his head away and continues to do whatever it is he was doing on his phone.

"No." I say nervously as aI fidget with my hands.

"No?"

"I'm not sure if I like...that."

This makes him bolt up looking at me for a moment with a bit of a shocked expression and before he looks back down I think I see a slight blush.

But before I'm able to confirm that....

He lifts up his phone in front of my face.

"So you like this?"

I slowly realize what he's holding up. I begin to feel hot all over and I know my face might as well be a tomato.

He's holding up a picture of a completely naked female. I've never watched or looked up something like this. My eyes were innocent!

"OH MY GOD JAY! GET THAT OUTTA MY-"

"Do you like it or do you not?!"

"I-I..I DON'T KNOW!" I slap the phone away from me making him drop it so it goes sliding away on the carpet floor.

He keeps his eyes on me with a huge smile across his face.

"You did, didn't you?"

"I...I..." I pause for a moment thinking about it.

Why are you thinking about it?!

"Yes..."

"Yes what?"

"Yes I liked it!" I admit harshly.

He begins clapping and cheering.

"Congrats Alice! This is officially your coming out day! So much better then mine where....never mind what happened on mine! Good job!"

I don't bother an attempt to hold back my smile.

"Are you this open with everybody?"

He slowly begins to stop clapping.

"Nope."

"Why not? Your so much better this way. So much more lively and...well...your not as mean."

He chuckles slightly.

"Because I can't be. I mean...you can't just go around to people saying that you were supposedly born a girl and you know you can't tell everyone that, even though you have a vagina, you like other people with vaginas as well."

"That's true, but can't you joke around...have a little more fun...yuh know...be more open in other ways?"

"Well sometimes when you get close to people when you're like this they shit all over you. A best friend can turn on you at any given moment with the reason, simply because you're supposed to be a girl. That person who was supposed to be your best friend can start spreading rumors, can do bad things to the people you love, can hurt you. So. Bad."

I can see tears brimming his eyes while he has a blank look on his face as if he's thinking.

"You've experienced that before haven't you?"

He snaps out of his daze and looks up at me, the tears practically gone.

"What? No...no......" I give him an "Are you serious look" and he sighs.

"Yeah....my freshman year....with Nate."