All This Time

Chapter 21

He just stood there as he hung up the phone and looked me in the eyes.

"El?" I questioned.

"It's Cragen," the words barely came out of his mouth, but I heard him. "He decided to leave...and you're going to be the Sergeant."

"What?!" I said, surprisingly. "Why is he leaving?"

"I don't know...he didn't say," Elliot said.

"Well, I have to go find out. Stay here with the twins. I'll be back. I love you," I said before walking towards the door without giving Elliot a chance to stop me.

~~~

I walked into Cragen's office as he was gathering all of his things.

"Liv? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm here to find out why you are going to leave," I said, a bit nervous.

"Well, I think it's about time that I leave this job behind and move on with everything. Liz and I have gotten pretty serious and we want to take some time off together...maybe go on a vacation," he said, faintly smiling at me.

"Cap, what about me?" I asked.

"Liv, you'll be fine. You're going to be a great Sergeant. I've seen how far you've come and so has everyone else. You're a good detective...you and Elliot were the two best detectives that anyone could ask for. I know you'll both be fine without me," he said, looking around the room to make sure he had gotten everything.

"At least give it some thought...please," I said, practically begging.

"Liv..." he whispered.

"Please?" I said.

"Fine. But there are no promises here, okay?" he added.

"Thank you," I said, smiling a little.

"Now go home to your family, Olivia. You deserve it," he said, smiling at me before I walked out and began heading home. "Oh and Liv!" he yelled before I turned back. "Don't lose him."

~~~

As soon as I got home, Elliot began asking me questions of how everything went. I ignored them and just walked into his arms and cried. He put his arms around me and began caressing my hair.

"I love you," I said through tears.

"I love you, too. But what's wrong?" he said, kissing my head.

"Nothing. I'm fine," I said, laughing sarcastically and wiping my tears.

"Liv, you're crying. What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know. He said he would think about staying, but he wasn't making any promises," I said, keeping my tears back as I began to calm down.

"And?" he questioned.

"It was nothing. Just something he said made me realize and start to think about some things," I said, shaking my head. "It's nothing."

"Liv? What did he say?" he carried on.

"Don't lose him," I said, repeating Cragen's exact words.

"Lose who?" Elliot questioned.

I hesitated before answering back, but finally spoke up.

"You."

"Liv, you know that you're never going to lose me. We've been over this. I'm not going anywhere. As long as I have you and the girls, I'm in an amazing place in life. I don't want to go anywhere if I don't have you or my kids. It won't happen. I think about you three all the time. You guys are my number one priority, and if anything ever happened to you, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd go crazy...I know that our lives are roller coasters because of our jobs, but we make it. We've made it this far and I don't want that to go away. I don't want to lose you. Not now. Not ever. We're going to be married soon and that's going to be one of the best days of my life. I'm happy with you. I want the best for you in life and I can't stand not seeing you happy. It kills me inside and I know that we both know each other so well, it's crazy. Liv, we're best friends, lovers, partners, and without you...I don't want to be here. I don't want to see a day without you here. My life just wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't be able to be happy. Even if something does go wrong in our relationship, which I hope it doesn't, God I hope it doesn't...but if it does, I still want to be able to talk to you every single day. I still want to be your partner. Your best friend. No one else's but yours. Do you understand me? Now, I'm not going anywhere. Okay? I love you Olivia Margaret Benson," he said as a tear went down my face.

"I love you, so, so much, El," I said before his lips locked onto mine and we just kissed for what seemed like forever.

I loved being in his embrace. That's what makes me feel safe...being with him.

The twins began to cry and Elliot and I broke apart from our kiss and laughed. We went over and got them out of their play pen and began playing with them.

"Don't cry, babies. Mommy and Daddy are here," I said softly as Elliot and I gently rocked them and patted their backs.

I looked over at Elliot and just smiled.

"What?" he finally asked, laughing.

"Nothing," I said, still in my trance as I smiled.

"What?" he said, laughing even harder.

"Just...you," I said smiling and looking into his eyes. He smiled at me and we kissed.

"These two need to go down for a nap so we can have some fun," he smiled against my lips.

"Elliot Stabler!" I laughed and pushed his chest playfully before he leaned in and we kissed one last time.

"I was just saying!" he said as we both laughed.

"Help me feed them, and then they can have a nap," I said, handing him Emily.

"That's a deal," he said, smirking.

I laughed as I walked into the kitchen and put formula in both of the bottles of warm water. I put a little on my wrist to make sure that it was warm enough, which it was.

I brought the bottles back to the living room, took Emily from Elliot and gave him the other bottle to feed Brianna.

After they finished eating, we burped them and changed their diapers. They began yawning and we rocked them and I hummed a song.

"You're a great mother, you know that, right?" he said as I smiled.

"And you're a great father," I said as we both smiled. Just then, I looked down at Emily and she was out. I looked over at Elliot, and so was Brianna.

We put them in their cribs and walked out quietly.

"Finally!" Elliot said before we laughed, and then kissed. And from then on, I think we all know what happened...

A/N~ I'm so sorry for not updating in so long! I forgot what I was going to do and I honestly couldn't remember! But, I finally remembered and so here we are! So comment what you guys think! And once again, I'm so sorry, babes💗💗