Unmistakable Love

Chapter 14-A Longing for Something Irreplacable

This afternoon it finally occurred to me why I had such a different bond with the green arrow. He pretty much knows like half of my life story. He has been there for me. It wasn't the green arrow... it was Oliver. All along, all of the feelings that I thought were coming from this stranger were coming from Oliver.

I dont know if I should go see him or stay locked up in the guest room of his mansion. Even seeing Thea seems like a bad idea for some reason. I feel like if I were to see one of them I would snap or something. Almost as if seeing them would trigger some reaction and cause a mini breakdown.

My boss is the green arrow. My room mate is the green arrow. I kissed the green arrow.

I can feel tears of anger and distraught start to build up so I decide that I would take my thoughts to the bathroom.

I hear whispering underneath me. Its Thea and shes on the phone. I cant make out any clear evidence as to what shes talking about but I did hear my name a few times.

I lean up against the stairwell and let my body drop slowly to the ground, lean my head back and close my eyes. Thats better.

Shuffling stirs around me and before I have time to even consider the fact that I fell asleep in the middle of a hallway, my head drifts in the direction of the noise and my eyes meet Oliver's.

Shit.

I bite my lip subconsciously and avoid eye contact. He sits beside me.

"I didn't want you to find out like this. I was going to tell you.. when it was the right time." He looks at me and puts his arm on my shoulder.

I instantly feel pain shoot up my shoulder and around to my back. There are still a few whip marks that hadnt healed. I inhale sharply and Olivers hand moves away from me like im poison.

I look at him to tell him its fine but he looks almost distraught.

"Whats wrong," I say, and manage to maintain eye contact.

"Oh I just thought you'd be healed by now." Oliver says. I look deeper into his eyes and remember that it was him that rescued me.

"Thanks," I say

"For?"

"Y'know. You are the green arrow. Warehouse.. Donny.." I say and let him clue in.

"Felicity," He says and I can gather the rest of what he's thinking through his eyes.

I look straight ahead, trying to avoid his gaze and pinch my right eyebrow nervously.

He carefully lifts his arm and puts it around my neck. I freeze for a moment and then look at him. We stare at each other for a few seconds and then I hold the hand of the arm that is around my shoulder. I smile simply and something strange leaps within Oliver's eyes.

I glance over in the direction of the bathroom and the clock catches my eye. I was supposed to take my pills 25 minutes ago.

Fear leaps within my body. I could seize or have cravings within hours if I wait too long to take my pills. Even if I take them late, the following night anything could happen. For a split second Im grateful that I payed attention to the gibber gabber the doctors told me.

"Uh, one sec." I say. I dont want Oliver to know that I have to take my pills.

I reach the guest room and grab the pills. I sit on my bed for a few seconds just to stare at the bottle of pills.

I remember the high I got off of the pills I used to have. I remember the high I got from the alcohol.

And for that moment I wanted so badly to have a glass of liquor and a cap full of pills. Not to kill myself, but to get that rush that I loved.