Unmistakable Love

Chapter 22- My undoing

I wake up in Thea's bedroom. I turn around and shes facing me, sound asleep.

I get out of bed and tiptoe to the door. I shut it quietly behind me and look toward Oliver's room to see if his door is opened or closed.

As soon as I look over his door opens and I blindly open Thea's door again.

He emerges from his room just a second too early and we make eye contact.

The air tenses and its like I'm inhaling litres of smog all at once.

I can literally feel the awkward in my chest.

And then I hear a knock on the other side of the door. My heart leaps and it feels like someone just dropped off ten 100 pound bags on my shoulders.

"Felicity," Oliver says, curiously but sadness is laced in his voice.

"Mhm?" I say. I don't want to say anything that will make my voice quiver or crack, so I keep it simple.

"Can we talk," He says, a little quieter this time.

Theres no way that we're gonna continue to live in the same house without talking about it sometime, so I unlock the door and step out of it quietly.

"What time is it," I say. Thea is usually up at the crack of dawn.

"3:37 a.m," He says.

I start walking down the stairs and Oliver jogs to catch up with me before grabbing my arm.

"Where are you going?" He says.

"Well we cant talk like this. People are sleeping and I dont want my sister hearing or anything lets just go outside," I say. I look down at his hand on my arm to tell him to get his hands off of me.

He nods.

As soon as I open the door, a wave of fresh air hits me. It is the nicest feeling on the Earth.

I lead Oliver away from the house, to the side of the house where theres a bench in the garden. The disco like glass bulbs in the garden spray illuminating shimmery speckles all over the ground in their own reflection.

We sit down together, slowly. I take a few minutes, just to enjoy the moment.

"Was it a dream? Or something I did? Or wh—" Oliver is cut off when I hear words escaping from my mouth.

"No don't say that, it wasn't your fault at all. I don't know.. it was just a dream. I kinda just wanna forget that it ever happened though. Like these memories are either there or not there. Constant or disappeared. Its different every day and I guess today is one of those constant ones but theres nothing that I can do about it. I'm sorry if I—" This time I'm cut off by Oliver.

"You were thinking about it during sex? What is it?" Oliver says.

My face feels like it bursts into flames. I can tell that its beat red, although I'm not sure if he can since its dark out.
"Rape," I say, strongly. The word is so disgusting that I somehow manage to pour my emotions into that one word. Like one movement can spill an entire cup of coffee. That word is like coffee to me.