Unmistakable Love

Chapter 27- Remission

"Fel-ici-ty," Oliver says, this word coming out in fragments as he tries to regain my attention. "Have you been feeling like you're going to relapse?"

His words feel like the opposite of a euphemism, and they hit me like a tonne of bricks. "No," I mummer. I lie not because it is true, but because he's going to worry and he cannot keep worrying about something that isn't even a problem.

His facial expression turns to confusion, and he says this like he's guessing, "yes, you are. Why aren't you being honest with me?"

My voice comes out more painful than I anticipated, "Its embarrassing, and I shouldn't have to drag everyone else into my problems. I want you to live your life without constantly worrying if you're going to say or do the wrong thing. I want to be able to sit at dinner with my friends and share a glass of wine or be able to take aspirin for period cramps or be able to take a simple cup of cough syrup without worrying its going to be a new addiction for me." My voice becomes more and more painful and louder and I don't realize i'm shaking until I feel Oliver grasp my hands and steady me.

He looks into me, not through me, but into me. For a moment I feel like he is a part of me, like we are one. I feel like he understands and loves me so much that he would give up something to help me through this. But that moment disappears just as quickly as it came.

But its something I can work on, and I know that. But I also know I might not be able to fix it completely. I might try and the entire situation might turn into something worse than I just said. What if I try and it all goes wrong?

But those are the ifs and are unlikely if I get proper help. And I know that. "I guess in a way um i'm making up excuses?" I blurt, suddenly trying to analyze my own desires.

"It's okay if you're having the urge. Just as long as it doesn't go past that.. We can fight through this together. Addiction is a thing I have been involved with before because of Thea, and I've seen how hard it is. I want you to overcome it too." He pauses for a second, like he's scared to ask. "You're okay?"

I crease my eyebrows and grab his hand. "Yes, Oliver. I haven't taken anything that I haven't told you about."

"Thats not what I meant. I mean sure, I wanted to know that too, but I meant... I meant... did you try to drown yourself?"

My heart skips a beat. Why would he think I would do that? My life hasn't been all rainbows and sunshine, I can admit, but if I'm scared of being killed and if I care about being taken or hurt, you would think I sure as hell am not suicidal. "No," is all I say. I'm getting fed up with this now. I wrap my robe around me tighter and walk straight out of the bathroom and into my room, slamming the door behind me. Desperately trying to move fast, I shuffle through my room grabbing a bra, underwear and a dress and slipping them on.

My dress is halfway on when the door flies open and I turn around to see Oliver gazing over at me. I continue getting dressed and grab my purse as I try to walk past him. He blocks my way, and I slam right into him. He plants his feet so hard into the ground you'd think he grew roots. "What the hell, Oliver, let me go!"

"Go where, Felicity?"

I take a step back and slam into him as hard as I can. This takes him by surprise and I rush out the door. As soon as I'm out of the house, I grab my phone and dial a number.

Ahh i know this chapter is short but that was a good place to end and its almost 3 am so im gonna get to bed soon because i have to go to school in a few hours :)