Patience & Faith - a journey series #1 | ✔

24: Remorse

"Don't break, my dear."

She miraculously woke up before the time of the doctors and the wail that followed her awake killed out all the other sounds in the hospital. Musa felt crestfallen upon their son's loss, but he had to keep it together for the mother felt worst. He stood paralyzed, not wanting to face the wrath of his woman who had built up anger but he had to because Hoor was very slowly losing her mind at the painful loss she felt.

"Sir, you must console her, she is breaking!" The nurse pleaded to startle him. Abdullah arrived, "We shall bury the child." He informed sadly, putting more weight on his heart.

Shaking himself, "Abdullah, I think we should let Hoor see her child, if we don't she will never forgive us." He thought knowing if her love was so powerful then how will her hatred be.

"But she's already in a terrible state." Abdullah reasoned.

"The boy is right, but she has a right to see her child. Go on son, go to her." The nurse advised making it easier for him. If he took his son to her, she would suffer but if he didn't, then she would never forgive him and would probably lose her mind and the guilt will kill him.

"Abdullah, bring my son to me." He persuaded and without another word headed towards the ICU, his heart beating as he neared the room, he could hear her crying and the nurses hushing her. With a heavy heart he stepped inside the room and was met by red-rimmed hazel eyes that looked deadly at him. She looked to be hanging on a thin lifeline. The nurses raced out of the room, his tall and dark demeanor caging the room in himself.

She looked away, her gaze landing on her baby girl. She had twins, she couldn't believe it, but one left her. He looked her over in a hospital gown, her hair in a plain braid but a few naughty tendrils stuck to her sweaty face, her tears flowing like a river. He had no words, he just did what he thought and felt was right. He ambled towards her and took her shoulders in his hand as she tried to shrug his hands off, her red eyes angry and wild.

"Let go of me!" She growled he had never witnessed her so mad and now that he was, he was afraid he'd lose the lively awesome girl he had as a wife. He sat beside her and held her to him tightly, she flayed her hands in the air hitting him on the chest yelling for him to let go then came the accusations. He held tightly not letting go knowing if he did now and then he could never get her stable, she needed him even if she was angry and aching.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear, sorry for not being there and sorry for losing their son.

"No . . ." she cried finally her body gave out as she tried to get out of his hold but lost her energy to fight. "No" she kept crying.

Unconsciously, a lone tear slipped from his green depths into her hair that was tucked under his chin as she cried into his chest. They never heard the door open or close, that's until Abdullah voiced his presence.

"Musa." He whispered, afraid he might hurt Hoor by his very tone.

"Hoor, get a grip on yourself." Musa tried taking her face into his hands as he looked deep into her dead eyes. She was not the Hoor he knew, the Hoor who never loosed hope. "Say goodbye to him." He ordered knowing she won't listen if he was soft on her. She looked confused then recognition covered her features as her gaze very slowly swept over his shoulder to Abdullah who was behind him holding their child. She looked horrified, shocked, and very hurt. Abdullah came forward and gave the child into Musa's arms, Hoor looked so frozen she didn't bat an eye.

"I thought if we had a son, I'll name him Asghar," Musa told Hoor, trying to keep her at bay. His child felt heavy in his arms yet he was as light as a flower. The loss was weighing them both down. He knew she wouldn't budge and so he put his child into her waiting arms, in his heart he liked the feeling of seeing his wife holding his child, he found the image beautiful but sadly his babies eyes were closed, a Noor filling his face. His nose like his father's, mouth like him, his eye's shape looked to be as Hoor's, he was beautiful.