Patience & Faith - a journey series #1 | ✔

39: Despair

Baby, do you know what it feels like, to be all alone.

Dear me, how do I do this, tell me your favorite song?

And I, collide with superstars.

Fall into the mars.

And I, fight the demons baby, bringing love to you lately, what's going on?

After 6 months..

My body was buzzing with delight and I had this glow to myself, it made him and my daughter want to always be around me, or probably they just loved me so much. To think he despised me once upon a time. He was cruel to me was sometimes unbelievable. I had faith in Allah that if He had matched me with Musa, it was for the better and that after some time he will be mine. It has been six months since we attended Seema and Abdullah's wedding. Time flew like anything.

I was always his, he just had a hard time accepting it. But now that he can't even breathe without me, I'm more than glad I waited and stayed.

Sitting under the shade of the tree that shadowed me from the summer heat, I grazed my fingers over my father's grave beside him my mothers. There was a serene silence filling the graveyard, many not visited and many cherished even after buried deep in the ground. The apple tree above me was large and ancient, the small flower bushes that surrounded the two graves made it seem like they were already in paradise. Smiling to myself I just sat in a peaceful atmosphere after reciting the Qur'an.

I remembered the revelation of how Mustafa Uncle had killed his childhood friend aka my father for his property. The Mustafa household was richer than them yet he felt the need to play with everyone's life. As painful as it all was, I had moved on being thankful for what I had now. With the help of Musa's love, I was way to pass the unforgiving phase of my past. If any of that had not occurred, I wouldn't have met my Musa.

As selfish as that sounded, I could not see life with any other than my own Musa. With him, I was complete, I was alive. Although I missed my father deeply, I knew he was more than happy in paradise beside my mother. The world was a cruel place whereas the place where he was, was more magical than anything else.

"I love you both. We miss you." I whispered smiling at the cement grave, the fresh scent of blooming flowers filled my senses.

It would've been nice to have grandparents for my babes, but we were more than enough for them. A breeze picked up, swaying my loose hijab to the side, the sound of leaves crunching underneath boots was heard and I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"I was worried about you." He murmured in my ear making me smile and shrug.

"Zahra has gone crazy, come home?" He asked quietly.

I looked up into his bright green eyes as if God had put Emerald stones rather than eyes. So Beautiful, deep it made me want to never blink. His beard had grown considerably longer making him look more of a man, a father, and husband. He was the most handsome man I had the pleasure of knowing, he was mine and that was all. Grabbing my hand and waist, he helped me stand up from my position on the ground, dusting the dust off I turned towards the grave of my parents.

"Musa." I nodded towards the spot where my eyes were fixed, he closed his eyes, his lips moved in a silent dua with his hands cupped before him, my eyes were trained on him as I murmured Ameen where needed. When he was done he turned towards me with intense eyes, full of adoration and beauty.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I would think there's something wrong with my face, and that's embarrassing considering I'm here before your parents." He teased smirking when I laughed at him.