Patience & Faith - a journey series #1 | ✔

25: Aliyun

"To forgive and forget."

After two ridiculous months in bed, I was finally out of my stupor, my loss of my son, and my pain of getting hit by my husband. I wasn't happy, but I became used to being on my own now like I kept a strong eye out on my company for Abdullah was now in my position as I was on my maternal leave and then I was taking care of a husband I revolted for the past two months even though I wasn't being honest I had to put up the attitude of literally hating him when all I felt was the opposite.

On the contrary, I gave myself time during my bed rest I had become quite fat and weird so I kept a routine of doing exercise after Fajr every day, and then there was the light to my life, my daughter Zahra who was the only one that kept me and my husband together until now. Because if it weren't for her we had become so distant it killed me, but somewhere deep inside I was angry and hurt and it was time he realized that.

Seema had become the official crazy aunt. She had done all the shopping and pampering while I was out cold most of the nights because of my weak state. Now that I was fully recovered I wondered if I could manage the house, my life (which comprised Zahra and Musa), and my business, even in my despondent state I made sure Musa was well and good to go but in his glory or regret he hadn't won my heart back, he only kept a huge distance with each passing day staying stuck to work mostly and only visiting my room to see our daughter. Yes, we had separated the rooms when he concluded that I didn't want to see his face but as these long two months passed I recognized that I could forgive him if he tried one last time because in all honesty I still loved him and I missed him, like me, he had lost a son and almost probably a daughter too and if it weren't for everyone's prayers we all must've died and Musa would've been left alone. Yes, in all his built-up life, a wife, aunt, and sister even a criminal dad he would've remained lonely for he never found peace anywhere and now sometimes I doubted if he ever found peace with me but by the softness that clouded his horrifying green eyes and by the lines around his eyes I witnessed he was more than just peaceful, he was content because his family was complete.

I had lost my weight and was back to what I originally was and no one would believe Hoor Saadiq ever gave birth to two children from which, one lived, but I did and now I was more than just an heiress, I was a wife, a mother and most importantly a woman for new humankind that was to come forth. I was sitting on my bed beside my daughter who was wide awake with eyes that belonged to her father (torture I dealt with all this time). I was overthinking everything when I remembered how he'd slapped me unconsciously but he did, nevertheless. Yes, whatever I said was wrong, but I was caught in the moment and that was probably the only time in my life that I felt lost and out of control because not even my father spurred me as my child and Musa did and that spoke volumes of his importance to me and in my life yet he was in denial and was yet to realize all of this.

Smiling at my girl, a warm bubble forming inside of my chest I took her tiny hand into mine caressing it gently enjoying the softness of her baby skin as she somewhat giggled on her behalf warming my heart further.

"Why is Zahra so happy today?" I asked, laughing when she kicked enthusiastically.

"Where's Zahra's Baba?" I asked, tickling her belly. She responded with full contentment, making me smile ruefully.

"I miss him too," I whispered, knowing how much want to lace my tone. I had waited too long, I had fought for him far too long I felt tired all I wanted to do was relax and sit back making my family happy that's it. I was even tired of the company, I was thriving in a company that was already built, I wasn't content in it yet I knew my father worked hard for it but this business would never be with me in my afterlife yet I still did my duties and was thankful. Abdullah was intelligent and fast at helping her run it.