The Makeover

14

"Fame is a bitch, man."

Brad Pitt

14|Decisions

I grunted out a reply as my brother asked me how my day had been.

My entire body slumped and I threw my backpack in the backseat in frustration. I could feel my lips being pulled into an unsatisfied pout.

In total honesty, my day had been horrible. Not only had I gotten another detention, but my hopes of Jake being drunk that night had also demolished. He had definitely not forgotten.

Jake continued to ignore me. It had been just over a week since the party and the second Monday that I had tried to reach out to him.

He no longer sat next to me in classes and if I ever caught his eye, his face would be a mask of stone, unreadable to my eyes. It was so frustrating and it made the puzzle, that was Jake, so much harder to piece together.

I finally understood what people meant when they said they hated Mondays. I had never had any problems with school, so that had never been a disappointment to wake up to, and I had never had enough of a social life to dread seeing certain characters at school.

Now that I had been noticed, everyone knew my name. No one greeted me, though. They just continued to stare at me like I was a lab experiment. My most accurate theory for their attention had to be that they were thinking: Why is a girl like her, hanging out with people like them?

I knew that I would always be looked down upon. I was still noticeably different compared to the looks of the in crowd. I still had glasses and an awkward air that seemed to follow me around like a rain cloud.

I still never spoke much in public and if I ever smiled, it would be a shy one. Unfortunately, Annastacia wasn't quite impressed with my lack of social skills, which I continued to point out. 

I knew that all she wanted was probably to help me, but I still didn't think it was necessary to push me at such a forceful intensity. She said that she felt like I was her responsibility, but she had to remember that I had my own life. She didn't pay much attention to it, though. I might as well have been one of her dolls that she could play dress up with.

Other than that, Alex had tried to reach out to me today. I continued to avoid him. If I saw him in the hallway, I would turn around and head down the opposite direction, so that he wouldn't be able to see the look on my face; the one of embarrassment mixed with a hint of anger.

I wished I had never seen him that night. I wished I could still be pure - innocent. I still continued to feel empty inside, like I had lost the mental image of myself. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel, but I blamed Alex for whatever I did feel.

I continued to blame him, even though I knew I shouldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to put the blame on my own shoulders. Call me a coward, but I just felt like my brain didn't want to process any good thoughts these days. I couldn't bear the thought of adding more weight onto my conscience. I felt weak. I felt stupid. I was stupid.

I slumped lower in my seat.

Minutes later, we were parked in front of our house. Joshua rolled his black sports car into the garage. Once Joshua was finished with his mini car expedition, acting as if he was a race car driver, I got out of the car, after grabbing my backpack and slipped through the door that led to our kitchen.

Ever since Josh and I had spoken and surprisingly bonded, he had offered to take me to school every single day. I had never minded walking, but driving was always fun because I got some time to spend with my brother.