A Sword Art Online Love Story

Chapter 6

   ( Raven is feeling 'Alive' right now . )

Hey guys I'm back and ready to write! I was just going through a writers block at the moment and couldn't think of anything , so sorry for the long wait before I said I wasn't gonna write for a while . Hope you enjoy the new update 😉 ~ Mrs_sakamaki02

Me and kirito walk into guess kitchen , I grab my apron and put it on . After I do , kirito gets the ragout rabbit meat out of his inventory and it plops on the pan . " So this is the rare famous S class meat I've heard of . " I said . " I think everyone's heard of it . " he said . I laughed . Does he always got to be this way? Does he always got to be this cute? It just makes my heart beat faster then it was when he stepped in the house . Calm it rave , gotta stay cool . " So how am I gonna cook this? " I asked .

" I figured I'd leave that to the chef . " he said . " Hmm , how about a stew? That sounds pretty good . " I said . He smiled , I guess that's his agreement .
I grabbed a knife and tapped the meat , immediately the meat was cut into little square pieces . I put it into the pot filled with some cut up carrots , and cut up potatoes . Then I put it in the oven and set the ovens menu for stew , then I grab the bowls and other essentials and walk to the dining room table . " You need help with that rave? " he asked . " No I got it . " I said .

As I kept walking , I suddenly slipped and I readied for impact . But to my aspects , I never hit the floor . Instead I fell in arms , I looked up and saw kirito staring right down at me .
" Hi . " I laughed . " Hi . " he laughed back . He helped me up and then he helped me bring get stuff to the table and helped me set it up . After that , I brought the flower tea in and the rolls . For some reason , I feel more comfortable like this . Just being alone with kirito , he doesn't seem the type to do force anything on anyone . Maybe it's cause of my feelings for him , I'm gonna have to tell him soon .

Maybe I can ask him if he'll join me in a party , or maybe i can ask if me and renee can join his party . Cause he's got the green diamond above his head , meaning that he's in a party of his own . Maybe he's the leader of lisbeth's party , cause sometimes I'll see her out with a lil girl and a older looking guy who wears a bandana . But what about the blood guild then?I can't just leave my guild , I'd be giving away my title as second in command . And I'd be giving away all of support for renee , I can't just give that up .
I've got to support renee , I guess I won't be asking then .

  I walk in the kitchen and sit on the counter as I watch for the ovens timer to stop . My smile turned into a saddened frown , and I turned my eyes down to look at the floor . I want to be closer with kirito , but if I can't figure out a way for me to be both in my guild and in kirito's party then I'm screwed . I had thought being in kirito's party with him would get me closer with him , and then maybe I could be together with him . But it's not gonna work , it just isn't .

Damn it . Damn it . Damn it . Damn it!
Why does everything have to be against me?! Why?! It's just such bullsh*t! It's bullsh*t! I felt small tears in the corner of my eyes , and I grit my teeth so they wouldn't fall . Maybe this was all a mistake then , maybe I shouldn't have walked into agil's store while kirito was telling him that he needed a cook for great ragout rabbit meat . I'm sorry renee , but it's just not gonna work out . I'll just just have to enjoy this as much as I can , and then I'll just stay away from him .

Cause I can't just give up all I worked hard for , that'd be giving up be like... like... losing someone close and dear to you! Renee is dear to me , me and her are really close! But kirito... I just don't know . I hold him dear to my heart , but not close to my side . Even though I've known him for 2 years , I feel like I haven't gotten any closer with him . I thought I was since that rainy night in the cave , but nope not even a little . I miss that night . He was so warm and his touch felt good , I loved how he kissed me on the forehead before going to sleep .

The last person to do that to me was hunter , before he cheated on me . That was the last time , and the last time since I let another guy touch me till that night . Part of me wants to go back to that night , to enjoy his warmth and his loving touch . But the other part of me , just doesn't know yet . But I know that I won't be able to leave the guild , and that my plans to try and attempt to get closer with kirito are a fail . Cause if I leave my guild , then I'd be losing my support for renee and everything I was promised .

Somethings are just more important than yourself , is what my mother always told me . That's why I always put others before me , even if it means stressing myself out to the max limit .
Suddenly the my tears that I had been holding in , started to escape and run down my cheeks . Damn it . Why can't things be easy , I want to be with kirito but I can't . Sometimes I hate my heart , cause it wants what I can't have the most . And then I can't really be myself cause I'll be stuck trying to get what it wants , but then I just get hurt or I fall hard .

Suddenly , without me noticing it , kirito comes into the kitchen and he looks at me . " Rave you okay? " he asked . " Yeah... I'm fine . " I sniffled . Stupid tears , he's gonna know I'm crying now . I don't want him to see me like this , I just don't . It's too embarrassing for him to see me like this . " Rave are you crying? " he asked with worry in his tone . I continued to look at the ground and hoped he hadn't seen the small tears running down my cheeks and onto the kitchen tile floor . Damn it , if my hair were down and around my eyes then I could hide them . But my hairs up so I can't do anything about it .

" No . " I lied immediately . I know lying isn't gonna help , but it's worth a shot . " Yes you are , don't lie to me rave . I can tell when your lying to me . " he said . Damn it , renee must of snitched on me . " A**hole . " I muttered under my breath . " Call me names all you won't , but that isn't gonna get you anywhere . " he said . I wanted to snap back at him with a smart a** comment , but something in my head was telling me not to . It was telling me , that it'd just make things worse . He walked over to the counter where I was sitting , and he stood in front of me .

" What's wrong? Why are you crying rave? " he asked . I didn't answer , or nor did I dare look at him . He put his left hand put under my chin and made me look at him . He looked at me , right in my red eyes . My tears evidently blurring my vision . He smiled with that usual carefree smile , the usual one that I could fall into and feel safe .

The one i could trust and feel like everything's gonna be okay .
" Rave , is everything okay? " he asked . I wanted to tell him no , to say everything wasn't okay . I wanted to tell him I wanted to be in his party group , I wanted to tell him about all the bad things that have happened to me . I wanted to just tell him everything , and hope that he'd comfort me in my upsetness . I tried to look away , but his firm grip on my chin didn't loosen any .

" Rave tell me please , if something happened you can tell me . " he said .
I looked deep into his eyes , into those ever so trusting obsidian eyes that I could easily get lost in by just looking . " Rave? " he asked again . " I.. I... I.. " I started but didn't know how to end .
Then suddenly , without any intention what so ever , he immediately moved close to me between my legs and hugged me tight . Wrapping both of his arms around me , and enveloping me into a loving yet caring embrace .
" Kirito... " I trailed off .

" Please don't cry , crying doesn't suit you . Just tell me what's wrong , I can help if you want . I'm here for you rave , your not alone . " he said . Hearing that , made my heart hurt . Cause I always thought I was alone , sometimes in the real world renee would leave me out of stuff . One time I tried talking with her and she completely ignored me . I felt so alone that day . Ever since hunter , I've felt so lost and all I've ever wanted was someone to hug me and comfort me .