Shawn Mendes Imagines

26 - Ruin

*Please read the Author's Note after this. I need advice :(*

I just laid in bed, staring at my phone with tears clouding my eyes. He just posted another picture of him kissing his new girl's cheek. I shouldn't care about it especially since he said he wanted us to be "just friends" but I just can't. I care about him too much.

I wiped the stray tears that streamed down my face. I took a deep breath before turning my phone off and throwing it somewhere on the bed. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. It's obvious that I'm an absolute mess.

I keep asking myself, "What am I supposed to do now?"

My phone buzzed and I saw the screen light up once again. I unlocked it and opened Instagram. He posted another picture except this time it was his initials together with his current's. My heart hurt but I can't seem to get the courage to block him or unfollow him... or to even turn his post notifications off. I couldn't stop myself from checking the comments.

"This just isn't right."

"I still ship you with y/n"

"y/n was and always will be better."

"I still ship (yours and Shawn's ship name)" (Shanna or Shara 😂)

I couldn't help but smile at the comments before closing Instagram and went on Twitter. I still get tagged daily on his tweets but I try my best to ignore them since I don't want to go back to them but seeing the comments on his photo might as well give me the push to tweet something to prove that I'm not dead.

"@(y/t/n): Letting go hurts but sometimes it hurts more to hold on."

I instantly got a bunch of retweets and likes.

"@mendesdreamer: Y/N!!! YOU'RE ONLINE!!!"

"@shawnsbae: @shawnmendes*cough* *cough*

"@mendesluv: You deserve better ♥"

"@shawnsfangurf: Awwwwe I hope you're okay :/"

[DISCLAIMER! I don't know if those are real Twitter accounts but might as well think of some for this imagine except for "shawnsfangurf" since that used to be my second Instagram account]

There are a hundred more tweets like that but one tweet caught my attention just as another notification popped up.

"@ShawnMendes: @(y/t/n) 'Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting things that cannot be.'"

With that, I couldn't help but get out of the app and proceed to the messages. I typed faster than I had even done and sent it to him as tears started to stream down my face.

GOSH! Must you torture me more than you already are?!

And moments later, I received a reply.

What? Wdym?

Don't go all Justin Bieber on me right now. The tweet? Fucking hell! You're hurting me more than you did before.

What did I do? It was just a tweet.

It's not JUST A TWEET. There are so many factors wherein you don't know it's actually hurting me.

Enlighten me.

I couldn't reply to him after that. I just kept on rereading the conversation. I didn't want to confess to him. I didn't want to say that I'm not over him although it's already obvious. I went back on Twitter and decided to tweet something that actually came from deep inside me, not Tumblr.

"@(y/t/n): Do you think about me at all?"

I got the same reaction but then I received another text from him, asking what I meant but I didn't reply to him. Instead, I posted another Tweet.

"@(y/t/n):Do you feel the same way? Tell me please."

And that went on and on and on until I decided to stop after around more or less six Tweets, all aimed towards him.

"@(y/t/n): Do you remember how we felt? 'Cause I still do."

"@(y/t/n): I'm not trying to ruin your happiness or anything"

"@(y/t/n): Don't you realize that I'm the only one for you? The one who will always stay by your side?"

"@(y/t/n): Do I ever cross your mind? Although, I completely doubt the possibility that I do."

Everyone on Twitter kept on asking me if I was okay. Even my friends decided to text me just to check if I was alright. I just lied to them and said that I'm perfectly okay.

Is that what you were trying to tell me?

Are you that oblivious?

I'm sorry.

Sure you are.

I really am.

You know what? You shouldn't be the one who's sorry. I know you're happy with her and I know that whatever we were was meant to end. I shouldn't have thought we could last for a long time.

I'm really sorry.

Bye.

Y/N please.

I should've been more sensitive.

I'm really sorry.

I didn't know you still felt that way.

I guess the whole 'just friends' thing isn't supposed to work out.

Shawn, please stop.

Please,

I don't want your pity.

Fine. I admitted that I still love you but that's it. The chances of me and you getting back together are small. If you're happy with her, then I'm happy for you.

I just hope you realize that I still think you're the one.

Only time will tell.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Y/N please!

You're not an inconvenience!

Don't act as if you're being a bother to me because you will never be.

I will always put you first.

I

I still love you.

I'll break up with her just to be with you again, I promise.

If she makes you happy then stay with her. It's obvious that you love her. I don't need your sympathy. :)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
A/N: This is shit but at least I posted again xD TWO DAYS IN A ROW! WHOO! (Okay, I should really stop sniffing White Flower when my head hurts xD) I actually wrote this during Math class which was after my HRM elective.

Vote/Share/Suggest

♪☁ A ☁♪ going offline