Away!

Chapter 49

I wake up to loud voices in the hallway. I look around confused for a few seconds before the events of last night slowly come trickle in my mind. Immeditaly the pain is back and my heart clenches. I hear the voices again. "No she is not here!" That is dad. "Please. I just- i just got to see her. I won't do anything. Please." That is tobias. His voice takes me back to better times but with it also the pain gets worse. I quickly snatch my things from last night and slip them on. I make the bed as good as possible and try to reduce the marks i left as good as possible. I look out of my window. The van stands infront of the house. I see Zeke sitting behind the wheel. Mars head peeks out of one of the windows. I quickly duck and crawl over to the night table. I take my phone and look whether i have some messages. I got more than some. I got about fifty. I take out my phone and write chris: Meet me at our spot in about 20 minutes. You can bring Mar if you want. I look out of the window and see how Chris looks at her phone. Her eyes grow wide and she nudges Mars shoulder.
I let them find an excuse and try to think of a way out. Just then i remember the window in calebs room. It looks out to the other side of the house. I sneek through the shared bathroom and into his room. He isn't laying in his bed anymore.
Just when i opened the window i look down at my feet. Oh no! I am only wearing my pink unicorn socks. Uri gave me those for my birthday. My shoes are still downstairs. I look around in Calebs room. Finally i see a pair of his sneeker. Yes! I put them on. They are like five size to big but better than no shoes. From his window i climb into the tree. From there i catch a glimpse of Tobias and my dad in the kitchen. I gasp. Tobias looks awful. His eyes are red and his face is blotchy. He has dark circles under his eyes and his whole posture is tensed. He still looks handsome. How can someone still look handsome when he is in such a shape? No! He doesn't look handsome. He is a piece of shit! I dart my eyes away from him and focus on climbing.

I arrive at the old train station about ten minutes later. I jogged so i'd be faster. I walk inside and look around. I don't spot Mar or Chris. I just sit down at one of the platforms, my feet dangling over the train tracks. While i sit and wait Tobias face haunts my mind. His all blotchy face. His red puffy eyes. His broad shoulder. His muscl- No! Border! Stop it now tris!
I feel tears in my eyes again. I press my hand to my chest to release some of the pain. It doesn't help. Nothing helps. I just sit at the platform rocking myself back and forth for a long time.
Then suddenly i hear voices. "Mar come on. Its safe!" Chris. "Okay okay. I'm coming." Mar. Then i already hear their footsteps on the concrete. "Tris..." Chris voice breaks. In the next second they both hug me. And in that second i break down. Tears flow down my face and i am not able to stop them. I sob and clutch their shirts for support. But its no help. The pain is deep inside of me. It licks at my organs like acid and spreads through my whole body. I just sob and cry while they hold me.
After a while my sobs become more quiet and my tears don't flow as fast. I release their shirts out of my firm grip and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. "Oh god tris." Chris hugs me again. "I will kill him for hurting you so much." We pull away again. Mar clears her throat and lays her hands on my shoulders. "Okay Tris please don't get me wrong, i am on your side and everyone else is as well, but this morning when we told four what he did he got as white as a sheet. He started shaking and we had to sit him down. He nearly threw up and i could even see tears in his eyes. He was miserable. So all i am saying is that you might want to listen to what he has to say." My heart clenches again. But this time - i realise - it clenches for tobias. Oh god! I love him so much. How could he do this to me? Tears flow out of my eyes while i slowly look up. Mar and Chris look at me concerend. "So?" Mar asks softly. "I-... I will hear what he has to say. But not today. Today i don't want to see him. I don't want to hear him." They both nod. "Of course. Would you mind if we tell that the others so they can tell him?" I shake my head no and mar calls zeke. He picks up after a few rings. "Hey mar." She turned on the loudspeeker. "Hey zeke. I just wanted to tell you that tris told me that she will hear what Four has to say but not today." Suddenly we hear shuffeling on the other side and then i hear his voice. "Tris?" His voice nearly breaks. "Tris are you there?" Tobias sounds so weak and vulnurable. "Tris please i..." and then it goes silent. Mar hung up. I start crying again. "Thank you." I sob. "Anything for you." Mar says and gently rubs my shoulder. "I just love him so much. Why did this happen? I don't understand." I sling my arms around my legs and burry my face in my knees. Someone of the two of them rubs my back. "You know tris." Chris starts. "My mum always used to say that we were giving this life because we can manage it. And i think you and four were giving this challenge to manage it and become stronger through it." "Or broken." I add and hug my legs tighter. They both sigh and so we just sit at the platform and the sun shines on our faces. Mine is still covered in tears.