Away!

Chapter 53

Marcus Eaton doesn't look at us. He stares out of the window at the street. We are high above the ground and Tobias is now nervous because of two reasons.
I hate Marcus immediately.
He turns around to us and eyes Tobias like he is some kind of meat that he is about to eat. Protectively I stand in front of him. I won't let anyone look at him like that.
Marcus gets his eyes away from Tobias and looks at me instead. "You got yourself a girlfriend? Oh that's cute. I used to have a girlfriend I loved. Then you came." Marcus spits out the last words and I feel like throwing him out of the window. "No!" I spit at him. "Shut up! Shut. Up. Don't talk to him like that!" Marcus raises his eyebrows at me. "Oh, she's a feisty one. Did he say that he loves you? And do you love him? You both have no idea what that is even supposed to mean. He isn't even capable of loving. Believe me. I was like him when I was young but at some point I changed. But don't be afraid of that, Tobias. Look where it brought me." His eyes gleem while he stretches his arm in a wide gesture. Tobias next to me doesn't say anything. He just looks at me and then back at his father.
Marcus knows what effect he has on him and so just continues. "You know it as good as me. She isn't right for you. I mean look at her. She is pathetic. Why would you even love her? She is nothing like the girls you used to have. That you had while you were with me. Come with me. I made you who you are and I'll make you even better." Tobias next to me still doesn't say anything and it's staring to scare me. Why doesn't he defend me? Is he that shocked?
Finally Tobias at least moves and rolls his shoulders. Better than nothing. "No." he croaks out. Marcus starts laughing. "That is your great act of defial? No. good job Tobias. Really. I couldn't be more ashamed of you. First you run away like a coward and then you come here and all you say is "no". I am ashamed that you even exist that I even made something like you. Yes Tobias I made you. You can't deny that. Becoming like me is in your genes. It is destined for you to become like me. I was like you when I was younger. A normal young man that had goals but then I had a son and this son was nothing but a disgrace to me and my family. That is why his mother abandoned him when he was six. Because this son was a no one, a nobody that not one soul cares about. It was you Tobias. You ruined your mothers and my life. You destroyed everything and..." and then I interrupt him. "No! I won't let you speak another word! Tobias ruined no ones life, he gave mine a reason. He is the reason I am happy. He makes me smile and laugh and he makes me feel loved. No one like him has ever crossed my way and I am sure that something like that will ever happen again because he is perfect. And he isn't that way because of you but even though he had a horrible father like you he became what he is. Despite you." I turn to Tobias, only to see him crying a bit. It shocks me. Tobias never cries. He only cried when he found me after Marcus had let me be beaten up. That's it. I've never seen him cry before that.
"You dare to interrupt me to say so much crap? He isn't worth loving and one day you and him will both understand that. And you aren't worth anything. You don't deserve a thing in this world. All you deserve is pain and loss and then death."
Marcus starts towards me to attack me and I get ready to fight him off but his punch never comes. Tobias jumped in front of me and pushed Marcus away. "That is enough Marcus. You have insulted me my whole life and I don't care anymore, but lay a hand on her and I'll kill you. I swear I will. She deserves nothing but the best and I will fight for her for the rest of my life. And you won't stop me. Never. Tris belongs to me and I belong to her. Not you nor anyone else will ever change that. And now you better stop talking and will stop bothering us and our friends, or I swear to god I'll go to the press and I have very visible proof that what I am saying isn't none sense. Got it?"
Marcus stood only taller during Tobias speech. "There you go. That is my son. Not that coward, don't you get it? Everything you do is only proof that my raising of you was successful. You will become just like me and then you'll come back to me. I am capable of waiting a bit longer for you. Go home to your little friends and then when you are ready you'll come to me."
Tobias shakes his shoulders and his head, "you are wrong!"
Marcus just laughs and then suddenly - so fast that at first I don't register what happened - Marcus lays on the floor and Tobias stands above him. "Don't ever contact me again. Neither me or any of my friends."
He roughly takes my hand and leads me over to the fire stairs.
He pulls me down the stairs in a fast step and I have problems keeping up with him.
We reach the street again and Tobias let's go of my hand. "Tobias..." I say softly.
He turns away from me and starts walking in the direction of the car. Quietly I follow him. I don't know what to say. I imagined Marcus to be bad, but that he would be that awful... I never could have dreamed of that.
Tobias doesn't stop at the car. "Tobias!" I call after him. He stops with his shoulders tense. "Please wait." I wheeze out. He slowly turns around and looks at me with a pained expression. "I just need... i... I just..." and then he suddenly he breaks down. He buries his face in his hands and sobs start shaking his body. His whole body trembles. It hurts me to see him like that.
I run over to him and wrap my arms around him tightly - holding him together. He holds me tightly and I press myself closer to his shaking body. "It's okay. I love you. It's over. You made it. I love you."
He clings on to me while he sobs into my shoulder.
I slowly guide him over to the van. It is not easy to break Tobias, but Marcus did it. And he did it good.
Tobias sits down on the backseat and I crawl inside with him before I close the door. Now since we are more private he looses it completely.
I place his head on my lab and let my fingers glide through his hair. I just whisper that I love him over and over again. I don't even say something about Marcus, he knows what I mean and he understands everything. We just keep sitting like this for a long time. I don't really know how much time passes until he finally speaks again. "Tris..." he starts and his voice is small and broken. He slowly sits up and I let him. "Yes?" I ask and intervine our fingers. He slowly pulls his hand away and scoots away from me. I frown. "What are..." i start to ask but he interupts me. "I need to go." He says. My frown deepens. "What do you mean you need to go?" He shakes his head and ruffles his hair. "I need to leave. I just... I have to have some time alone right now. You should... you should drive back. Drive back to the others. They are at home right now. You can just go back." I shake my head and reach for his hand. "No I won't do that. I can be there for you. I will help you." He shakes his head and pulls his hand away again. "No, don't you get it? I don't want you to be here right now. I want to be alone. Please I just need time to think." I slowly nod. "Okay... I guess I can do that. But Tobias... please don't believe a word he said. He meant to hurt you. Meant to break you. Don't let him win by shutting everyone out because that is what he wants. He wants you to feel alone and seperated from all of us. Don't let him do that to you." He doesn't meet my eyes. "I don't want to hurt you Tris. I never wanted that. And now I don't know how to prevent it. I will always hurt you somehow. I just know it. With my words or even physically... and I couldn't live with myself if I did that. Its not only because of what Marcus said. I mean he is right about some things... I do have half of his genes. He is my father no matter what kind of monster he is. I can't deny that. I just need some time."
I shake my head. "Yes, you have half his genes but who you are is also about who you choose to are. You..." "Tris you just don't get it. Please. I just want to be alone. Leave me alone. I don't want this and it's not what I need right now."
I slip my hand out of his. "Okay. I will. I will just go to the train station from here." A tear rolls down my cheek and he turns away from me. "See? It already happened. I hurt you. And I can't take it back." I let my head hang and open the door. I just put my feet on the concrete when he grabs my hand. My heart starts beating wildly. He changed his mind. He won't break up with me now.
I turn around and look at him hopefully. He doesn't meet my eyes and just lets a few Dollar bills fall into my hand. I frown. "That's it?"
He nods. "Yes. I am sorry."
"You will just throw this away now? Us? Our relationship?"
He turns completly away from me and nods. "Temporarily... I mean I don't want you to wait for me... I can't ask for that. But I need to be alone now. I just can't... please. Just leave. I don't... I can't... I don't want you here right now. You can tell the others as well. I don't want any messages, any notes or letters. And don't worry about me. Just... go." I have to push away tears. "Tobias i get it... you don't..." "No you don't! None of you 'gets it', no one in this whole world understands me. Not one. And certainly not you! Please! Just go now! I don't want to hurt you any more." I put my feet on the ground and still not looking at him I say, "if you won't give me some kind of explanation till two months from now I will... I will stop waiting." He doesn't respond to this and I step out. As soon as I closed the door he starts the engine. I now can't hold back the tears anymore. They rush down at me. Above me the clouds darken and everything around me turns gray while I watch the love of my life drive away without even glancing back at me.
I stand there. Just stand there rooted to this exact spot - staring at the hole that the car left there. It represents quite  well how I feel inside right now.
I just stand and stare. I don't really know how long. I have no feeling of the time anymore. I am not hungry or thirsty. I am nothing and everything at the same time. My body feels like it was drained of emotion but at the same time something inside me strains and wants to get outside.
I don't really feel the first raindrop but it has to have fallen at some point. I only feel the rain when it soaks my shirt and my jacket. I don't feel that it runs down my face and mixes with the tears I have been crying since he left. I can't even muster to think his name. He just drove away... without turning back...
I should probably get going... one part of me says. Just stand here forever and die... Another part says.
I know that we broke up before but nothing ever felt so... final. It never felt like this. The times before I was the one to pause our relationship, this time it was him. It was him. He did it. I don't know what he meant. I don't know it. I don't know anything at all. Not one thing about anything. I am standing in an unknown city full of strangers. I know no one here. Not one single soul. Only Marcus and his servants. But they are not an option.
Around me the rain falls lightly and then more heavier again. It gets darker and darker around me as the sun moves across the sky. There are some people but they pay no attention to me. They go their own ways. They don't pay any attention to the crying girl in the rain.
I am frozen. Frozen in time. I don't know what I should do. I am alone.
But then a small boy emerges the house opposite. There are houses everywhere around me. People all around me. Funny that will all those people you can feel so incredibly lonely.
The boy stops in front of me and looks up at me. He can't be older than 10. He frowns and looks me up and down. His black hair sticks to his forehead. "Are you okay? Are you waiting for something?" I look at this little boy. This little boy who was the only one who saw the skinny crying girl in the rain. He was the only one who talked to me. The only one who didn't move past me. He cared enough to even get out of his house and into the rain.
And this pureness is just too much for me. I break down completely. I feel like I don't have any tears left but I still cry again. Harder than before. I sink onto the floor and only now feel how tired my legs are. How the rain feels on my face. How my hair sticks to my head. How cold I am.
I hug my legs to my chest and cry into them. The boy crouches next to me and his small hand lays on my arm. "I saw you standing here, in the rain. I thought it might be good to talk to you. You can come in if you want, my mother is inside watching me. You can warm up and maybe drink a tea." I almost have to laugh at his innocence but at the same time i want to cry because he cares. He cares for people and for me. He cares for the world.
I slowly nod. "Okay. I will come with you." He smiles widely and jumps up. He extends his tiny hand and I take it. His hand is warm and mine lies coldly in it. He guides me over the street and his mother opens the door for us. She shakes her head smiling but greats me more than friendly.
The little boy takes my soaked coat from my shoulders and his mother guides me into the kitchen after I took of my also soaked shoes.
"Can you tell me what your name is?" She asks friendly. The small boy is still busy doing something with my shoes. "Beatrice." I stutter out with my teeth scattering. I don't know why I said Beatrice. It felt right to tell her my real name. Not some nickname. Like a new start. She smiles. "I like that Name." I try to smile. "Thank you." "Well Beatrice my name is Anna Hopkins. And he is called Tobias." My face goes slack. "What?" She frowns. "I said, my name is Anna and my son is called Tobias." I shake my head and lay my head on the table. And then... then I start laughing. I just start laughing. How likely is this? There are around 600.000 people in this city. And the small boy with the big heart called Tobias finds me and brings me home, after the boy I love most in the world, also called Tobias, just left me. I know that Anna now probably will think I am crazy and that her little Tobias brought home a crazy, homeless girl. I force myself to stop laughing and look back up at her. "I am sorry, it's only..." i wipe a tear of laughter away from my eyes. "The reason I cried was a boy... my boyfriend... and he - he is also called Tobias. So technically one Tobias made me cry and the other one makes me stop." She nods and even cracks a sympathetic smile. "I see... troubles with a boy. Those are the worst. Why don't you just take a shower and I give you some dry clothes and then we'll see what we'll do. Deal?" I nod and wipe another tear. "Deal. Thank you so so much Anna." She smiles kindly. "Whenever my Tobias brings home a lost soul I can't do anything but help." I crack a smile.
Tobias bursts into the small kitchen. "Mummy, I will show her where the bathroom is. I can do that." He takes my hand and pulls me with him. Anna nods while he drags me up the stairs. Then he guides me through a narrow hallway and into a small bathroom. There is a nice shower in the corner and little Tobias smirks up at me. "Here you go. Mummy will get you clothes. I already stuffed your shoes with newspapers so they dry quicker and I will hang your coat over the heater in a minute. If you need anything just ask. The towels are in this drawer." He opens a drawer and gets out a big, soft, blue towel. He gives it to me. "There you go." I smile. "Thank you. You saved me out there, you know that?" He smiles shyly suddenly. "No Problem. Isn't that only logical? Shouldn't we all help eachother whenever we can and as often as we can." I nod. "Yes we should, little Tobias." He smiles wider and then leaves the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.