Spotlight #the2017Awards

Chapter 20

"Lay down here beside me in the shallow water /Beside me where the sun is shining on us still" - Sirens by Cher Lloyd

Admitting a something to yourself is hard but admitting it to someone else especially someone you love is a million times harder. Admitting to Clarion that I had an abortion last year was beyond difficult and I don't think I will ever forgive myself. I felt like I needed to tell Mason, don't ask me why but I did, he needed to understand me as a whole.

Iris and Jesse were happy so why shouldn't I be?

It was about 3am when I decided to tell him. I honestly felt like me have heart to hearts in the early hours was becoming my thing. I could feel the carpet under my toes and I ignored the pit in my stomach because the last time I exposed myself to someone they ripped out my heart and gave theirs to another.

"Please let him be alone" I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Shit Marley what are you doing, I suddenly felt sick but it was a bit late because I heard the door open. "Marley?" His voice was groggy but still alert and I couldn't help but notice his naked chest and his dark Pyjama pants low on his hips. "Oh well...you see..." God this was pathetic, I was stumbling over my words and I stupidly blurted out "want to play twenty questions?" I mentally slapped myself.

You. Bloody. Idiot

"Um...I guess so Marley but why-" I didn't let him finish because I pushed myself into the room and boy had he made a mess. Clothes were scattered around the floor and his guitar lay atop of its case and sheet music and balled up paper littered almost every surface. I heard him close the door but I was in a trance of simply circling the room like some love-sick vulture.

"Sooo... Want a drink?" He held up a bottle of vodka and I didn't question where it came from but liquid courage was better than no courage at all. "Sure" he poured it into a tall glass and I gave him a funny look because vodka was supposed to be shots but he ignored it. "You first, you drink if I call bullshit and I drink if I get a story and vice versa"
"This isn't twenty questions! This is never have I ever combined with 'Bullshit' " but again he ignored me. "Fine,what's your middle name?" Easy enough I guess "Rodger" I couldn't help but burst out laughing. It continued like that for ten more questions (I found out he was going to major in Drama until his dad told him he needed to do what he loved and he pursued the band as he full time career) until we got to the harder stuff.

"How did you get your scar?"
"Bar fight"
"I call bullshit" my vodka had barely been touched only a few sips same as his. "Fine... My parents aren't together after my mum got so mad at me one day... She has bipolar disorder it wasn't her fault but she pushed me into our glass coffee table and some got embedded into my cheek, seven  stitches later I get this" he ran his hand down his cheek "I tell everyone it was bar fight but you saw right through that" I was in shock, Masons mum had hurt him even though it was out of his control it was a scary thought.

We continued like this until the twentieth question. "What are you running from Marley?" His question took me off guard "nothing"
"Bullshit" I took a deep breath, could I tell him? "I am running from two people who I loved more than anything and they decided to abuse that" he looked worried "but I am also running from my feeling for you"

Now I had really shocked him.

I don't think I had time to change my answer when he suddenly was so close I could practically hear his heartbeat. He leaned in oh so slowly and then placed a whisper of a kiss on my lips, if I hadn't felt the blush creeping up my neck I would have sworn it wasn't real. "You don't need to run anymore" he leant his forehead against mine and his was breathy so heavily it was like had run a marathon.

"Stay with me tonight" he asked his voice just above a whisper. "We won't do anything, just sleep I promise" I nodded perhaps it was the alcohol more than me but it was going to be light soon and we were becoming slaves to tiredness.

Sleep was a blessing just like it was a nightmare.

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Sorry it's so short but it's going to get very complicated