Spotlight #the2017Awards

Chapter 29

"You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye and I got that red lip classic thing that you like" - Style by Taylor Swift

I felt light and heavy all at once. I was happy I could finally tell Jesse about being pregnant but I used to have this whole part of my life that tethered me to the last but now I'm free...

I had so much to focus on. The ninth week, Mason and this new relationship and god I was so happy. This week was supposed to be all about summer songs and the hits of summer and all of that. The whole group is supposed to sing 'Summer Paradise' by Simple Plan and I was to sing 'summertime girls' by Masketta Falls which was strange because it was all about loving beachy girls and a) I was a girl and b) I like boys... so I didn't know to relate to this song.

I know when we are this close to the end we are meant to give it all we got anymore but I don't even know what I got anymore to be honest. Mason did, he knew he wanted fame and his name in lights but he was willing to do a lot to get there like steal my song and even sleep with Tallulah, I mean he was willing to play dirty and I wasn't.

It was time so quickly.

The performance was here and I was scared and felt like I was about to throw up and I think my skirt was too tight. I was seriously about to collapse when our cues started after the very dramatic 'the final four' speech.

Honestly Esmeralda !? Your pulling out the big guns now! When our song started we were all supposed to be relaxed and singing about a summer romance and how it was a paradise and god how could I relate to this!? And I loved this song. When we were singing we were supposed to be lying on the beach and all having a good time like we were some cliche tight knit gang.

When did I become so cynical?

Oh right, I think I was born like that, god seriously Marley!? Work on this.

I feel like when I sang my song, it felt like it was someone else singing because I felt detached from this song. I tried not to fiddle with my dress or look down but I was way out of my comfort zone for this round.

And it was going to bite.

When we all gathered around at the end ready to hear who would battle it out for a spot in the final three I heard the words that would define everything: "the two competing for a spot in next weeks finale... Ruth and Marley"

Me Verses Ruth!?

I snuck at glance at her and we both looked panicked and frightened. I watched Ruth perform 'Superbass' by Nicki Minaj and she had done some weird salsa dancing bit which had made Ruth look embarrassed and I sympathised with that. However I needed to performance first and I knew exactly what I would sing:

All her life she has seen
All the meanest side of me
They took away the prophet's dream for a profit on the street

Now she's stronger than you know
A heart of steel starts to grow

All his life he's been told
He'll be nothing when he's old
All the kicks and all the blows
He won't ever let it show

'Cause he's stronger than you know
A heart of steel starts to grow

When you've been fighting for it all your life
You've been struggling to make things right
That's how a superhero learns to fly
(Every day, every hour
Turn the pain into power)

Singing Superheroes by the Script really resonated with me because it was taking the darkest parts of your life and using it to become stronger and braver and better person. I don't think I have fought quite as hard for this until right now.

I was not letting go.

I heard white noise when I was finished so I awkwardly bowed and scuttled off stage. I watched Ruth perform a Taylor swift song but honestly I barely registered any of it because I was so nervous I could have been sick.

We both walked on stage, my hair had fallen out of its twists and hung raggedly around my face but Ruth somehow still looked elegant and put together but she was still squeezing my hand so tightly I couldn't feel it.

"After careful deliberation the judges have decided that tonight, the final contestant joining Tallulah Saxon and The Emeralds will be..."

---
AND CUT!

What you didn't think I would actually tell you now!?

No way you'll have to wait ;)

P.s ALMOST 750 reads!? Oh my god thank you all so much!

L xx