Spotlight #the2017Awards

Chapter 8

"You made a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter" - Mine by Taylor Swift (another Swift song I know)

Ten minutes is all it takes to stuff up.

Ten bloody minutes to mess it all up

That's how I felt before I was to go out onto that stage.

After Clarion told me about my best friends (a loose term now) 'concern' for my where abouts I felt sick. I threw up in the bathroom and sobbed recklessly and I hardly understood why because I could barely keep the boiling anger and hurt inside when I saw them but I stupidly chose joint happiness over my own. A pathetic excuse for repairing something they broke.

I stood on the side of the stage, wringing my hands as I watched the host introduce the round and play up the talent and drive of this years Treble! But really I was a nervous wreck.

The group performance was first and we all stepped out together, blinded by the lights and we couldn't see the thousands who had come to watch us but they were there. I felt awkward in my white shirt, black tights, combat boots and Christmas hat because a) it wasn't even Christmas and b) I felt the shirt was see through and all I wanted to do was subconsciously cover my chest.

"The year 2016's Treble contestants!' The host walked off the stage as the lights dimmed and we scurried to our positions.

Lights up.

They told me I was lucky to have my chance with you...

Quick Marley move! I willed myself to keep dancing on stage and not fall or look anyone but I couldn't exactly avoid that.

Oh god solo part, scream! No don't scream

They say I'm losing my mind, I thought that for a awhile...

Okay okay just keep singing it's alright I tried to clam myself down and then realised the chorus was coming up again and we had to jump around again and honesty I was getting really sweaty.

After exactly three minutes and nine seconds the song was over and I could breath a little bit again and we all proceeded to walk off stage, scurrying to change for our next performance.

Thank god I wasn't first

---::/---::/---::

"Okay sweetie here you go" the costume designer handed me my outfit for my solo number and then scurried off to attend to someone else. I stared at the garment bag awkwardly and then scampered off to the change rooms.

On my way past I could hear the Emeralds playing their song (Missing You by All Time Low) and Masons voice was hypnotising, I was proud and terrified but most of all mesmerised. "hey you! Don't you need to get dressed?" One of the stage hands asked my shooing me away to the change rooms.

No.

I could not wear this! The outfit given to me was long and blue with a sparkly bodice with spaghetti straps. The shoes were good heels and worse of all stilettos! I stared at myself in the mirror and swayed a little. I guess I looked alright and I didn't look so plain.

"Miss Gate?" I suppose it was time for me to shine. I walked out of the dressing room because it was time to Marvin Gaye get it on.

---**---**---

We all held hands, waiting for a verdict like criminals on trial. All huddled together scared and excited wondering who we would be saying goodbye to because this would be the first of many.

The judges sat out the front staring us down, they knew who was going they would dance around us and tell our comments but they knew because here's the twist: first round there is no redemption round, you are done.

"You've all done exceptionally well and I commend you all for taking this chance" Anna Patch was the one who spoke (of course they get the neutral party to make the blow) "but of course one of you will be leaving us all tonight" the crowd was still and it hit me like a ton of bricks that this was live.

"We've decided that..." Oh god it's going to be me isn't it. I closed my eyes and squeezed the hands of whoever was next to me (I think it was Peggy and Hans?) "we have decided that the first contestant to leave would be Perry Siviac" I opened my eyes and looked over to Perry. He looked rigid and hard, obviously trying not to react but I didn't hear him sing but I think he was singing a Justin Bieber song?

The goodbyes and applause began to blend together as we said our goodbyes. I couldn't say I was too upset because I had never spoken to him but it was sad to one of us go. As he walked off stage and waved to the audience (the applause was more polite than up roaring) and the lights dimmed making us now invisible.

We all trudged off stage, voices tired and bodies not used to the excessive dancing had done for our group performance. All I wanted was sleep. I got changed out of my costume and pulled on my clothes from the beginning of the day (a really ugly brown sweater and tights) and went to leave for the hotel because I felt that bed calling.

"Marley wait up!" I turned around to see Mason running towards me, I crammed my neck but couldn't see his band mates, just him. "Oh hi" I felt a little awkward but tried to not let it show. "You were great out there, I also really liked your dress...you looked nice" he looked as awkward as I did but that somehow made me feel more comfortable "thank you, you were great too...well not just you per say but your were the one I noticed most..." Oh my god Marley stop talking! We both stood there in silence. "Mason..?" I tested but he interrupted me "let me walk you to your room" and I agreed because I wasn't going to assume anything.

The two minute walk (if that) was comfortable, no longer awkward which I liked.  When we got to my door we begun our awkward silence again, we mighty need to work on that. "Good night Marley" Mason finally broke the ice and ruffled my hair as he walked back to his room at the end of the corridor and I felt an odd pang when he left. I knew what that meant and I knew how to suppress it too, it's perfectly normal for me now.

Walking into the room I collapsed onto the bed into a heap and picked up my phone expecting a call from Clarion instead I found 30 messages from Jesse and Iris ranging from confused, surprised and down right pissed and I knew I couldn't avoid it anymore.

I needed to call them and unfortunately that would rehash some old wounds.