A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

Just Silence

"Quinn! Why aren't you finished rounds on my patients yet?" Arizona ordered as she walked past me

"Oh sorry Dr Robbins I thought you wanted me to prep Jack for surgery, Dr Shepherd can finally take him today now that the swelling has cleared on his brain from the meningitis infection" I said in confusion while trying to keep things upbeat

"Well can't you do both? God Dr Quinn you're not a child! Do I have to write down everything you should be doing?" Robbins began to raise her voice

"No Dr Robbins, I'll go finish my rounds" I said quietly in defeat

"Thought so" she bluntly replied as she walked away

I gave an exasperated sigh. It was finally Friday and I had spent the whole week with a completely different Arizona Robbins than the one I'm used to.

"Hey, what's up?" I heard a soothing familiar voice behind me

"Oh, hey Alex. Uh nothing. Just Robbins is acting really weird all week" I mumbled as I flicked through my tablet trying to find the next patient I had to round on.

"She's had a bad week, just give her some time. I'm sure she'll realize shes being an ass and she'll come round. She always does" Alex smiled supportively

"I hope so" I sighed as as I turned to give Alex a small kiss on the cheek "I've got rounds to finish and a patient to prep. I'll see you at home" I smiled

***

"Morning Dr Shepherd" I smiled as I wheeled my patient into the OR

"Good morning Dr Quinn" Derek smiled his million dollar smile "Will you be scrubbing in with me this morning?"

"I'm on Dr Robbins service Sir and I've got a ton of paperwork so unfortunately not" I frowned

"That's a shame Dr Quinn, it's a beautiful morning to save lives" He grinned as he walked away to scrub in

I left the OR and made my way back up to the pediatric floor. I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon taking care of post ops for Dr Robbins and some pre-ops for Alex while also monitoring the NICU. I was beat.

"Hey Jamie, do you want to scrub in on my surgery?" Alex approached me just as I was about to take a nap

"Yeah sure, what is it?" I asked, sucking up the exhaustion

"Got a 5 year old who is 6 weeks post aortic valve repair but he's developed fungal endocarditis so Pierce and I have to work on that" Alex informed me as we walked towards the elevator

"Poor kid" I frowned as we entered the elevator and went to the OR floor

We made our way in silence towards OR 2 and we then began to scrub in. Dr Maggie Pierce soon joined us.

"Hey guys" she beamed "good to see you again Dr Quinn, it's been a while! I'm starting to miss you around my OR"

"Hey Dr Pierce" I couldn't help but smile in return "I'll be on your service on Monday"

"Great" she chirped

We finished prepping and made our way into the OR. The young patient was already under anesthesia so we were ready to begin. I mainly just watched since it was a pretty complicated surgery and I'm still and intern after all. Dr Pierce and Dr Karev are amazing surgeons but this kid was proving to be extremely difficult.

"He keeps crashing. His heart can't take this kind of pressure, he's been under too much strain for too long" Dr Pierce said grimly

"He's in V-Fib we gotta shock him" Alex said as he turned to the crash cart

"Charge to 20" Dr Pierce ordered

"Clear" Alex called as he placed the paddles directly onto the heart

We all stepped back except for Alex, and watched the electricity heave the kids body from the table. It was both horrifying and heartbreaking to watch. He slumped back onto the table, still flat lining.

"His BP is bottomed out. Push one of epi and charge to 25" Maggie ordered once more

"Clear" Alex said as he placed the paddles once more

Still to no effect as we watched his body fall back onto the table with no signs of life. Alex threw the paddles back onto the crash cart and stuck his hands into the kid's chest.

"I'm starting cardiac massage" Alex said, determined to get this kid back

"Alex step back" Maggie said softly

Alex continued as he gave a deaf ear to Maggie's instructions

"Alex there's nothing more you can do. He's gone" Maggie raised her voice

"Alex come on" I said as I placed my hands on his shoulders "You did everything you could"

"It's not enough" Alex gritted his teeth, raising his voice at the both of us before removing his hands and slamming them against the crash cart

"Time of death 18:43" Maggie declared

"Damn it" I cursed under my breath as I watched Alex sharply remove his mask and scrub gown

It was always hard losing a patient, but it was always hardest losing a child. It wasn't right and it certainly wasn't fair. I removed my mask, gown and gloves and made my way out of the OR with Dr Pierce.

"Go get some rest Quinn, that was a tough one" Maggie said sympathetically

I simply nodded in return and made my way towards the on-call room. For some reason the small crevice in the corner of the room seemed more comforting than a cold empty bed. I pressed my back against the wall and slumped into the corner, pulling my knees into my chest. I lay my head back against the cold, hard concrete and closed my eyes. Within a few minutes the door to the room slammed open and a small figure walked into the darkness. They sat onto the bed in a huff and their head disappeared into their hands. I could just barely make out the back of the figure.

"Dr Robbins?" I called out softly

Arizona jumped a little when she herd my voice but she soon relaxed as she realized who it was.

"Oh, sorry to bother you Doctor Quinn" she mumbled as she moved to stand up

"Oh no, no stay. Please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump like that. The corner just seemed more appealing" I smiled as I pulled myself from the floor and walked towards the door

"Doctor Quinn?" Arizona said just as I was about to leave

"Yea?" I said turning to face her

"Will you sit with me for a little bit?" She asked softly.

I couldn't help but smile at her gentleness, it was a complete 180 from the Arizona Robbins I had seen all week. This was the Arizona I looked forward to seeing everyday.

"Sure" I whispered as I sat in beside her

"Sorry for being such an ass this week" She sincerely apologized but soon burst into sobs

"Hey, hey. What's the matter?" I asked softly as I placed my hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her

"I-I-I I just can't do it anymore, it-it-it's just too hard" she spluttered

"Hey Arizona, what's going on?" I asked quietly

"M-m-my ex wife is moving across the country and she's trying to take our child with her and she's just dragged me through a week long of court session and I don't know if I'll ever get to see my little girl anymore" She burst into tears once more

I decided now was the time to be a friend and not an intern. I took her into my arms and she placed her head on my shoulder as she cried into my lab coat. Her shoulders moved with her hicks and her crying soon changed to small sobs and then the room was silent. But she remained with her face buried into my shoulder and her arms wrapped around my waist and we stayed like that for a while. Just silence. Peace.