A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

You're My Everything

People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all of their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them, don't.

Some wounds, we carry with us everywhere... and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.

What's worse? New wounds, which are so horribly painful, or old wounds, which should have healed years ago, and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we've been, and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think.

But that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over... again.

"What do you mean she's gone? I just saw her yesterday? Are you trying to say this all got too much and she just up and left us? Why would she do that? She was making plans, talking about everything we were going to do together. She can't be gone" I began to feel dread fill my body as I heard his words

"No Jamie, she's gone, she's dead and she's not coming back." He said filled with grief as his eyes began to water

"No you can't say that! I just sat with her yesterday, the doctors said she was getting better. She was doing real good" I fumbled over my words as I tried to figure out what the hell was happening

"Jamie, honey, come here sweet heart" the voice was familiar but I couldn't see his face, I knew who he was but I couldn't communicate the way I wanted to

I began running. I had no idea why, but I just ran as if my life depended on it. The white ceilings and white tiled floors were so overwhelmingly bright from the reflection of the enormous white lights. Everything was white. Sterile. Cold. Empty.

I began to feel my lungs burn as the air became thin and the oxygen seemed to just escape me with every burdened breath. I stopped. I soon found the familiar room and saw her lying there. I knew he was lying to me. I knew she was still here. There she was, smiling as she sat up in her hospital bed, patting the space beside her for me to come and sit.

"He told me you were dead!" I sobbed as I sat down beside her and rested my head on her shoulder

"Baby, it has come back. And this time they can't save me" Her voice trembled

"What do you mean?" I looked up at her in confusion

"The cancer, Jamie, your dad is right. I'm dying" her voice softened

I looked up to see the face of my mother. And suddenly her body began to become thinner and thinner as she slowly faded away.

"Mom? Mom please, wait. Somebody? I need help in here!" I yelled as I tried so desperately to keep her awake

Here body was cold and still. Her heart stopped and she was no longer with me.

"Mommy please" I sobbed into her shoulder

The more I cried, the more her body felt warmer and warmer. I thought it was just my tears that were heating her cold skin but I soon felt a warm, familiar hand on mine. I looked up to see a different face take shape on what was my mother's body.

"Hey" she whispered sweetly

"You're awake" I beamed as I gave her hand a gentle squeeze "I've missed you" I said softly as I sat up to kiss her cheek

"I've missed you too" she replied but soon began to wince in pain

"You want me to get you something? Are you in pain?" I asked concerned as I stood up, still holding her hand