Change Our World

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"Morning" I smiled as I dragged myself lazily into the dining room

"Morning sleepy head" Arizona said as she walked towards me and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek "You want some breakfast?" she asked

"Um, no thanks, I'm not feeling too great this morning, I think I'll pass and wait a little while" I mumbled as I sat at the table

"Is everything alright?" she looked at me in concern

"Yeah, just kinda queasy. It'll pass before the day is out, lucky I swapped shifts with Rose." I said, trying not to worry Arizona

"I've got to go in for a fetal surgery in half an hour" Arizona smiled as she took my hand and pulled me up from the chair, not saying where she was taking me "But I'll come home to check on you later, if you're not up for the night shift I can ask Karev to cover you, he owes me" she laughed gently

"Where are we going?" I asked, intrigued

"You are going back to bed, I can feel your fever from here" she said in a motherly tone as she brought me into our bedroom and made me lie back down

"Arizona" I sighed "I'm fine ok, besides, I really need to catch up on some study, our oral boards are in less than 4 months!" I complained

"One day of rest won't kill you Jamie! You work too hard. I'm surprised you haven't collapsed already" she argued as she began to tuck me back in to bed

I grabbed her hand before she could turn away and pulled her back so that she was sitting beside me. I sat up to meet her and placed my hand on her cheek, turning her face so that her eyes were directly looking into mine.

"I love you" I whispered, as I gently kissed her lips

She sighed contently against my lips and I felt her smile against the kiss

"I love you more than you can imagine Jamie Quinn" she mumbled against my lips "Now get some rest" she said a little louder as she stood up from the bed

"Yes ma'am" I said, saluting her in a joking way as I watched her leaving the room with a grin

She soon left for the hospital and I was alone. It's been a long time since I lay in a bed alone, the silence was deafening. It wasn't like that of the OR, this was a different kind of silence, you weren't focused on a certain task, there's no adrenaline rush with this type of silence. You are simply alone, waiting for the silent void to be filled. And my wish was soon granted. Our en suite bathroom was soon echoing with the noise of me throwing up into the toilet.

I sat on the cold tiles, hoping the wave of nausea would soon pass as I held onto the toilet bowl for dear life.

***

*Arizona's P.O.V*

"Good morning Mr and Mrs Daniels. I'm your fetal surgeon, my name is Dr Arizona Robbins and I'll be looking after you" I gave a warm smile as I introduced myself to the young couple

"Thank you for taking us Dr Robbins, you're our only hoping of keeping our little girl in here" Mrs Daniels said as she rubbed her swollen stomach

"I'm going to do everything I can Mrs Daniel" I assured her "So what's happening is, your little girl has got a specific type of case of spina bifida called myelomeningocele which affects your baby's lower spine. Myself and the head of our Neurosurgery department Dr Amelia Shepherd will be operating on you today to try fix your baby's spine as best we can before she is born" I explained to them

"Thank you for everything doctor!" Mr Daniels said appreciatively

"You're very welcome. I'll have one of the residents in to prep you for surgery and we'll have you in the OR in no time. Now because you're in your second trimester I don't want to give you a general anesthetic, I'd rather not risk your's or the baby's health any more than I already have to. Instead, I'll give a local anesthetic which will numb the entire area that I'll be operating on and you won't feel a thing" I said reassuringly

Both parents gave a thankful smile and as soon as I was comfortable that they knew exactly what was going on, I left them to go and prep for surgery. I made my way to the OR floor and paged Amelia to meet me in the scrub room. I have not yet had a surgery with the infamous Amelia Shepherd and I was very much looking forward to meeting the woman who almost broke up my marriage.

"Hey Doctor Robbins" Amelia said casually as she entered the scrub room and began to scrub in beside me

"Good morning Doctor Shepherd, it's nice to finally have a chance to see you in action" I replied chivalrously

"Are you kidding? You're one of only 12 fetal surgeons in the entire country! And you're the best on the west coast, I've been dying to scrub in on one of your surgeries!" Amelia replied flatteringly

"Thank you Dr Shepherd" I nodded

"Hey call me Amelia, please" she smiled

"I'd think it'd be a better idea to keep this strictly professional, don't you?" I said coldly

"Listen Dr Robbins, if this is about Jamie and I-" she began but I cut her off immediately

"There is no "Jamie and I", I'll be chivalrous and professional but don't you dare bring my wife into the conversation! You can stay the hell away from Jamie, are we clear Dr Shepherd?" I spat as I stared her down with a dagger of a look

"Yes Dr Robbins" she simply muttered and I turned my back and walked into the OR

***

*Jamie's P.O.V*

I began pacing up and down the living room, waiting for Arizona to arrive home. Her surgery was longer than she expected but she would still make it home before I had to leave for my shift. Before I could be left alone with my thoughts any longer, I heard the door shut softly

"Jamie?" I heard Arizona's sweet voice echo through the hall

"In here" I replied

She walked into the living room and a frown fell upon her face.

"Jamie you look like you've just seen a ghost! No way are you working tonight, let me call Karev" she insisted

"No, Arizona! I'm fine seriously. I'm rested and I'm good to go. I'll stay away from surgeries and just do paperwork for the night I swear" I pleaded

"Jamie Quinn you are not going anywhere!" she began fussing around the living room, making up the couch with blankets and cushions

"Arizona" I said but my plea fell on deaf ears "Arizona, listen to me" I said more sternly as I grabbed her hands and made her look at me

"What is it?" she asked in concern

I took a sharp intake of breath as I began scanning her eyes, making sure she had calmed. I gave her hands a gentle squeeze. I tried to say something, but it was as if I had forgotten how to speak.

"Jay, babe, what is it? What's going on?" she asked, worry clouding her features

"I'm pregnant" I barely whispered the words that would change our world, but she heard every word as if I had shouted it from the roof top

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