A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

Beautiful Darkness

"Jamie you've gotta let us take over on this one" Meredith said cautiously

"Not a chance Dr Grey. I've got this. I just needed a second. This damage goes beyond what the scans showed" I stood there still trying to wrap my head around how to even start

I took a deep breath and soon started extracting the mets that surrounded his liver and lungs. He was doing well. His pressure was steady. I knew the heart would be the hardest part and I hadn't even begun extracting the bigger mets that surrounded his small intestine. 5 hours in and I was still only scratching the surface. Meredith and Maggie helping me out along the way.

"He's been under too long, we need to close up and hope that he'll be strong enough for another procedure soon." Maggie stated

"No" I stopped her "we can do this. We can finish this." I insisted

"Dr Quinn, the longer he's under the greater he is..." Meredith started

"The greater he is prone to infection, permanent damage and heart failure. Dr Grey trust me. I can do this" I said confidently

I returned to what I was doing. As I began lasering away the tumor that sat on his right ventricle there was a sudden jump in his BP and his heart rate sky rocketed.

"Keep control Dr Quinn. We've got this ok" Meredith realized the best she could do was support me

"Ok give him one shot of Thiazide diuretics. We need to control his BP and get his heart rate steady again. Dr Quinn I hate to rush but you need to hurry this up. He can't take much more" Maggie ordered

"He's strong. He can do this. I know you can do this Blake just stick with me" I whispered to him

The shot soon kicked in and his blood pressure stabilized. However the next move I made was fatal. I began to remove one of the mets from his pancreas when his body decided to shut down. This was all too much. I pushed him too far. His heart went into D-Fib and the monitors went wild.

"Crash cart please" I called trying not to lose my calm

"Starting cardiac massage" Maggie said as she placed her hands inside of Blake's chest

"Charge to 200" I ordered "Clear"

The shock riveted through his body as his torso elevated from the surgical table and landed back as still as ever.

"Push one of epi! Charge to 250" I started to lose my cool now "Clear"

The shock once more took hold of his body but still to no affect.

"300" I yelled "Cmon Blake" I gritted my teeth as I sent another wave of electricity through his body

"Jamie" Meredith spoke softly

I threw the paddles to one side and began CPR. Pumping his chest as hard as I could to try and restore blood flow.

"Cmon you son of a bitch don't you dare give up on me" I huffed as I continued the CPR "I need you Blake. You can't leave." I begged

"Jamie, he's been gone too long. If we tried to get him back now he'd be a vegetable" Maggie explained

"That's my brother on the god damn table Pierce. Don't you dare tell me when to give up" I growled

"Jamie, there's nothing more you can do. You've done absolutely everything. You have to let him go" Meredith almost whispered as she placed her hand on my shoulder

I stood back breathlessly as I watched the monitors flat line. Maggie moved towards the machines to switch them off. It was over. Just like that, he was gone. I threw the surgical tray half way across the room in a fit of rage.