A Single Moment Of Sincerity [SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SEQUEL]

You can't lie your way out of this one.

Light poured randomly through the windows in the back room. It had taken me until now, as I lay with my head on Ben's chest, to work out that the blinds were even broken. Ben was fast asleep, and my eyes were heavy from a well needed sleep after last night. I wasn't sure what time it was as Ben was still in bed - though he's always the last member up anyway. The boys were either out or sleeping since the past 30 minutes I'd been conscious I hadn't heard a thing. The silence was somewhat peaceful, and the birds song, accompanied with various complicated harmonies, only added to the calming feeling that bubbled through my body.

I couldn't stop thinking about last night, and every time I looked up to Ben I had to try very hard to suppress a smile that fought to emerge on my face. I nuzzled my face into his chest, and he groaned lowly putting his arm around me. We lay there for about and hour more in this quiet, comfortable, paradise... forgetting what was happening in this room just a few days before... not caring about all the bad times.

Once all the boys got back by their belated bus call last night, we had rolled out silently. Of course we were both already asleep, but the slow rocking gently stirred me in the middle of the night. My sleep broke slightly, but I plunged into restful darkness within a few soothing seconds. Now as I listened to the surroundings I pondered our placement in our small but royal country, and part of me hoped we were doing the right thing. That we were making the country proud.

Unable to stay lying down any long, I pulled myself away from the sleeping mass next to me and slunk to the door, well it was more like stumbling because of a dead leg, but I want to sound at least a little bit elegant. I moved myself through the corridor and to the bathroom, where I desperately needed to go.

A few minutes later I emerged, taking my time to watch the bunks. All bar one had the curtains shut over them, they must all be sleeping, but I couldn't for the life of me remember who's bed was empty. I didn't need to, I was to find out in a minute anyway.

To prevent disturbing Ben I wandered to the front room. Donning only underwear and one of Ben’s long t-shirts the hung to about mid thigh. It was a Pierce The Veil shirt... which surprised me, though I don't really know why. It was warm and smelt like him, so who was I to complain.

“Urh, Hi?” coughed an awkward voice. I raised my eyes, worrying for the worse. Before me stood James, not too sure where he was to look. Though awkward I refused to admit it and tried to push it aside, walking over to one of the lounge seats.

“Oh, Hey, James.” I laughed, smiling over to him as I pulled the book I had begun reading from the shelf above. It was titled “Black Order” by James Rollins. It was a hooker if ever I read one.

“So, you and Ben are okay now right?” We hadn't really spoken in a couple days, too much tension I guess.

“Yeah we're all good.”

An awkward silence broke out. My eyes dropped to my words, trying to find an excuse for not talking. I wanted to speak, I didn't want this tension but it was as if my voice would not speak out.

“You know... all that Ben said... it was true.” His head swung low, his fingers gripping one another, digging in. It was clear to anyone he was worried.

“Yeah I guessed, I really love him though.” His head bowed even lower than I thought was humanly possible.

James and I had already ad the discussion, but again this awkward topic replayed, on and on. And when Danny walked in, causing James to shut up, I left the room with my head stuffed with thoughts and cotton wool. Something was confusing me, pushing me into weird feelings.

The boys left for sound check, and I lay down in the back room, hugging the quilt that now held memories. I picked up on page 78, where I left off, and began reading once again. The bus empty, along with my stomach. Hunger reaped my insides, my tummy churned and wailed louder than anything I'd heard. But I refused to feed it. There wasn't really anything here. I would text Ben in an hour to bring something back. I flicked back to my book and tried to engross myself in it's thrilling fiction. But I was continually being disturbed by persistent harrowing cries from inside my own self.

With a reluctant sigh, I pulled my phone from under the pillow and texted Ben.

Hey, can you pick up some food for me please, hun? Xoxo.

To my surprise a loud vibration rattled the mattress beside me. His screen flashed showing “3 new messages.” I picked it up, and automatically unlocked it without thinking, opening my message since I knew he wouldn't see it anyway. I ten pressed back, sending me onto the message list, before I could press it gain to go back to the omepage. But instead of pressing it a second time I froze. Dead. Still.

I recognised the number... I'd seen t before and this time I knew where.

Hey, Ben, talked to your slut the other day... she's not replying now. I hope she leaves you alone now. I want it to be us. Just us, not her as well. I love you, Ben. Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Infuriated, I punched the bed. My eyes stung but I needed to know more. I hated snooping on people's phones, I hadn't ever done it before. But this time I believe it was warranted. With a shaky hand, I opened up their string of messages. The last 5 messages shone on the screen, as if to rub it in even more. I didn't want to see the but my eyes wouldn't move away, they were locked onto the betraying messages. The visible five were from her.

Ben, so remember I love you, can't wait to see you, I want us to be alone, okay. Anyway I'll see you tonight, beautiful boy. Xxxxxx

Ben, you're actually amazing. Tonight was such a thrill. Got to do that again soon! I loved it, and of course you. xxxxxx

Hey, you're Melissa... I've dealt with her, I hope she doesn't bother us any more, because I love you too much for her to destroy this love. I can't see why you're still with her! Xxxxxxxx

Are you going to leave her soon? You are right? It will make it better and easier for us then. Xxxxxx

And the one that I just found. Tears now pounded my cheeks, I wanted to scream, but my mouth clamped shut. Internally, however, I was screaming as much as I damn well pleased! That second right there my brain just blew, I couldn't do it any longer. I pulled on some ripped skinny jeans (the ones closest to me) and ran, taking my phone with me. I didn't know where I was running too, or frankly what city we had driven to over night since no one told me – I just had to run. Had to get away.

The sky was surprisingly blue for the cool weather, as I felt the heavy air push against my skin as I fled aimlessly. I didn't know what to do just get away and clear my head first. I must have run a fair amount because I had begun to work up a sweat, had no idea where I was, so finally I stopped. Outside what looked to be a bar. Still fuming, I plonked myself resignedly onto the curb. I wasn't sad, or angry, but I wasn't happy. I just felt... I felt empty. Like nothing mattered, like I wasn't even alive, it was someone else, and I was watching them. Everything seemed so hazy.

Tiredly, I dragged my phone from my pocket and sent a text to James.

I'm outside the Lions Arms. A weird pub. I need to talk. NOW!

I threw my phone to the gutter and collapsed in on myself, as if all my energy had suddenly left me. My breath shook my whole body with each attempt and my head was spinning. I needed James to be here soon. I needed to get somewhere safe, because right at that moment just wanted to throw up and hide.