A Single Moment Of Sincerity [SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SEQUEL]

I've never felt so hopeless,

Lunch consisted of the band and I crowding in a 4 person booth ordering the greasiest food they could find. It was due to Danny's suggestion we ended up in this Heart Attack Donor anyway, so we might as well make the most of it. It was the first, decent sized meal I ate in a while, an honestly, I enjoyed it. The guys joked about, making me smile a lot and actually proved to be pretty amazing actors where pretending they weren't still worrying about me came to play. I sat, pretty much, on James' lap as I tucked in to my plate of Hash Browns; Bacon; Sausages; Fried bread; Fried eggs; and baked beans. A full English breakfast (bar the mushrooms) was just what the doctor ordered, and surprisingly put me in a slightly better mood.

“So, can we go shopping quickly, can we, can we please?” Ben begged everyone as we scraped at our near empty plates.

“Actually, can we? I need to get some make up, and yeah?” My timid voice murmured, only heard by a few.

“Fuck of are you taking the make up, I need it to look presentably for Danny.” Ben's impossibly English voice chirped.

I felt warm breath tickling my ear, sending my head into a little spin. “What I think he meant was 'No, you won't buy the make up, you're beautiful enough without it.' Well if not, that's what I'm saying.” James whispered, my cheeking burning red with his sweetness. I felt his lips press against my hair and my body froze rigid, eyes fixating on the salt shaker. I didn't know I could be reminded so simply, things that I didn't even know had happened... the drugs must have messed with my memory because now everything flooded back.

-Flash back-

The bench rails pressed hard against my neck and spine as he sneered in my face “I don't think you will. Aren't you nearly slipping anyway?” My head felt as though a thousand tonnes hit it at the same time whilst my vision blurred. Hot, stale air was exhaled onto my face, soured by a small amount of potent whiskey. I wanted to scream but I couldn't. I couldn't even open my eyes, not that I would want to see it happening. This is it. I tell myself over and over again, running the word through my head in a lame attempt of distraction. Why couldn't I be someone else. Not here, victimised by someone I was messing about with. Maybe I brought this on myself and he doesn't know I don't want to? You made it pretty obvious. Well he has had stuff to drink. Stop sympathising with him! He's scum! My brained yelled at me.

A hand, a slimy, cold hand, traced its way up my legs, over my hips stomach and chest where it settled on my neck. My breathing faltered and fear and drugs paralysed, his hand gripping tighter... slowly. I couldn't see him but I knew he'd be wearing some perverse self-centred smile across his devilish face. “That's a good girl, don't fight me now.” He chuckled, pushing his foul lips against mine. His hands pushing tighter on my neck. Head already woozy, I felt death coming for me, my lungs burnt my chest, they were about to explode. I was running out of oxygen.. and I couldn't do anything about it. He pulled back as my breathing shuddered into life. “Can't have you dead now, can we. I'm not into corpses.” The weight of his body on mine completely disappeared. An altered version of joy spread through my body, maybe it was all over, a mistake, I would regain function and be able to leave, practically unhurt.

The jingle of metal scattered through my head. That's not just normal metal.. it's belt metal, Melissa, of course he didn't drug you just for that. You know what's coming now. And then my worst fears began. A pressure got back on my, pushing my paining back further into the rails. “You be good now, darling.” he whispered, pressing his hands up my leg's. Scratching at the hemline, but of course it wasn't all. His head lunged forward on to my neck as kisses trailed down to my collar bone where he bit down. A small scent of iron wafted the air... he'd broken skin, and I was bleeding. Another mark to remind me of what happened. He released my collar bone and kissed my lips, the taste of my own blood making me gag.