Could It Be Forever (Book 1, Being Edited)

Chapter 13

***Rheese***

'Fuck! What was this bitch trying to do?'
I went to my apartment to meet Keith, with my thoughts all over the place. When I pulled up at my apartment, he was already waiting for me.
Talking to Keith put a lot into perspective for me.
Gerry having my baby was not the end of the world. I would take responsibility for the baby but I didn't have to have Gerry in my life. The only thing she would be is the mother of my child, that's all.
Now I just have to tell Liz and my family about the baby.
I left my apartment a couple of hours later, feeling positive, after a shower and changing into fresh clothes.

When I got back to find Liz not in her apartment, I started panicking.
I tried calling her but her cell went straight to voice mail.
The only person I could call was Keith. It didn't acure to me to ask him what Ben was doing when we saw each other earlier today.
I called Keith asking him to check if Ben had any idea where Liz could possibly be.
Waiting for Keith to call back was driving me insane.

To my relieve she was with Ben, having lunch and I could breath again.
I wanted to be mad at her when she walked through the door but listening to her smart mouth as she scold me, oh boy, made me want to kiss those lips even more.
We ended up making passionate love but when I told her I had to go back home sooner than what I expected, she shut down surrounding herself with walls that I couldn't break through.
I couldn't understand why she reacted to the news the way she did.
But one thing was clear, if me leaving for a short while had this affect on her, there was no way I was gonna tell her about Gerry and the baby.
Maybe I didn't really comprehend the impact I made in the her life and the way she felt about me.
When she told me to get out and leave, I felt pain in my heart that I didn't know could exist. It felt like a dagger ramping through my heart.
I wanted to hold and reassure her that me leaving was not forever but seeing her pull away from my touch, broke me.
I walked out of her bedroom and left like she asked me too. I grabbed the doorknob, not sure if leaving was the right choice I was making but I finally opened the door and closed it with force, mad at myself.
Liz needed space to think even when all I wanted to do was comfort her.

I called her the minute I closed the door behind me, regretting my decition to leave after all.
The only thing I wanted to do was talk to her and make her understand but she didn't answer my calls.

I drove around, like a bird without direction not knowing what to do with myself and decided to go back.
I had to.
I was not gonna leave without a fighting chance.
I stopped off at the shops to buy a few things to make up for the dinner that I had to cancel. Maybe this small gesture would say something to Liz about how I feel about her.

I came to Cape Town for other reasons but instead I found love. Something I never dreamt of finding, at least not with my history with women. I didn't want to admit it to myself but I was falling in love with Liz.
Of all the places I've been to, it happened here in the heart of the mother city, with all it's beauty.

***

I sobbed into my pillow not being able to breath.
He said he was leaving and didn't know if I would see him again.
To make things easier on me, I told Rheese to 'get out' but it killed me inside to let him go.

'Why did LOVE hurt so much? Why did I react the way I did? FEAR'

My cellphone started vibrating on the bedside table once more.
I didn't have to look, to know who it was. Since Rheese walked out the door my cell hasn't stop ringing.
I layed wrapped up in my duvet and drifting off to sleep.
In the far distance I heard the front door open.
I was just too emotionally tired to drag myself out of bed to see who it was.
So I forced my swollen eyes open to look at the clock and discovered it was 06:44pm.
"Ben, is that you?" my words barely leaving my mouth.
But no reply came and I drifted back to sleep.