for better or for worse

19

"You just went on like it was any other day." Jacob said as he heard me come up behind him.

I sat down next to him and put down the flowers, I had bought at the store.

"I did what I normally do on this day, Jacob. I get up and go through the motions." I said. It was true for the last past two years, on October 19th, I get up to exercise , go to work and come him and spend time with my daughters. This is also what I do on April 8th. It's all I can think about leading up to these days, but on the actual day, it's like my mind isn't here.

"I'm here. Whatever you need. I'm here." I could handle myself later.  Right now I needed to be here for Jacob.

"Just hold me." He said. I wrapped my arms around him and then he crawled into my lap. I took off my suit jacket and put it around his shoulders.

We sat in silence for a while. Just reflecting and remembering.

"Dad! Can you come here?! I think I caught one!" CJ yelled, not looking at me but at the time river.

Jacob and I were laid out on a picnic blanket while Callie and Baja played with some dolls a few feet away.

"I'll be right there, bud!" I yelled. I turned back to Jacob and repeatedly kissed him on the lips.

"Dad! Come look!" CJ yelled again.

Jacob pulled away, giggling. "You better go because he is not going to stop until he has your full, undivided attention. You know how jealous he gets" Jacob rolled his eyes, teasingly.

"Coming CJ!" I yelled to him. Then as I got up I leaned over Jacob and whispered in his ear," All I know is when we get back to the house and put the kids to sleep, your gonna have all my undivided attention."

Jacob smirked and licked his lips. "I'll hold you to that, sexy." He said, seductively.

I chuckled and walked into over to the edge of the river bank where CJ was.

Nothing was tugging at his line so I grabbed it from his hands and pulled it up. He didn't even have any bait on the line.

I looked over at him with a knowing smile. He knew exactly what he did.

"Oops." He said, while giggling.

I tackled him and threw him over my shoulder. Then I lightly slammed him down on the ground. He was giggling the entire time.

"Ok! Ok, Dad! I'm sorry!" CJ could barely get his words out due to his infectious giggling.

"Chresanto Senior! Stop roughhousing
him, he just ate!" Jacob yelled.

I stopped play fighting with CJ. But then I started tickling him just to get a smile out of him. When he said he couldn't breathe anymore, I stopped.

We laid on our backs and I looked over and saw Jacob and the girls were sitting on their stomachs. I knew they were probably taking him to death about absolutely nothing. Just nonsense three-year old babble.

"Why did they have to come, Dad? I thought it was just our day." CJ pouted. "Your always at your job."

" I wanted to spend time with your mama, Callie and Baja too.

"Callie and Baja are always crying and playing with dolls .They never wanna play with my power rangers."

"They're young, buddy. When you were three, you cried a lot too." I said.

"Not like that though."

"How you know?" I laughed. "You don't remember."

"I just know, dad. I'm Superman's son. And Superman's son doesn't cry." He cheesed.

I looked at him confused. "I thought you were my son."

"Duh daddy!  You're superman!"

"I'm ready to go." Jacob said snapping me out of my thoughts. He took two fingers and kissed his lips and touched the grave.

"Yeah, let's go." I said. Getting up and brushing the dirt off my butt.

I didn't see a car so I assumed Jacob walked here or rode the bus. I walk to the passenger side of the car to open the door for him and waited until he to got in. Then I walk to the driver side and got it and started up the car.

"I was so close, Chesanto." Jacob said as we made our way back to the house.

Confused on what he was talking about I looked over at him and said," Huh? What do you mean?"

"I was so close to going back. To that life. I'm glad you showed up when you did."