Hope «h.s.»

Thirty- Five.

Chapter 35:

I ran home.

The house had never felt so vacant and lifeless.

Like always, I effortlessly slid my bedroom window open to get in. My room was getting stuffy. No air had been circulating the cheap house at all during my leave and dust particles were making their own luxury mansions on every surface of my room.

"Hello?" I dared to ask as I consciously opened the door inch by inch.

By the looks and silence that awkwardly filled the dark hallway, I could only assume no one had been home all day or maybe possibly a few days, maybe even a week. Once every five seconds something in the house creaked, but I didn't think much of it. It gave the house one familiar aspect.

Nonetheless, I decided to investigate the house. 

My curling iron was oddly placed on the counter of the bathroom sink like I had left it many nights ago, the cord dangling above the floor. I turned on the light to make sure the bathtub was empty too.

I walked into the main part of the house, the entrance into the living room and the kitchen. It still had the rotten stench that my father weaved into the couch and rug over the years. But this time, it surprised me for a peculiar reason. The uninviting smell was no longer home.

With some families, the kitchen is their prized possession. Not in this case. Some unidentifiable cereal was scattered across the ugly tile floor. Afraid of the ants and other bugs that it might attract, I got on my hands and knees and started scooping piles into my cupped hand and into the garbage. I guess it was my clean freak sense to start cleaning the house I had not been inside in a while.

I turned on all the lights in the meantime.

Ever since the shooting, I did not even want to look out the screen sliding door that led to the backyard, in case there would be a dead body lurking out there, ready to look me straight in the eye out of my own guilt. So, I slyly walked past it.

Entering Rene's room was hard. I did not know when I would see her next. I imagined us cuddling in her small twin sized bed, reading and passing away nights together as the best of friends that always counted on each other. I hoped my distance this past month had not brought us apart. I was there for Rene since she was born and I was not going to let her be taken away from me. Once I got over my pain, I would tell her to come home and we could be normal again. Or 'our' normal at least.

As soon as I entered my spotless room, I went to my closet. I changed into my usual clothes, before everything in my life changed. Even though the weather was getting warmer and the house was stuffy as can be, I wanted to be in my comfort clothes. I put on my signature black leggings, skipping the skirt part of the outfit, and my comfy grey sweater. In my mirror, I tied my hair up in a long ponytail and started to braid.

I missed how I used to be with my droned routine, putting on a similar version of this outfit everyday and waking Rene up, trying to avoid my hungover or drunk dad and heading off to school in the car. Even the comfort of having my father around seemed more welcoming to the empty barren desert this house had become.

I missed many things about my 'old' life. For some reason, my swampy brain went straight to Scottie. I had selfishly forgot about him in the past week. Scottie and Rene used to be what powered me through life on a daily basis, but things had changed.

But I was very thankful for Harry. Even though he had changed my life completely these past months, I would not have wanted a thing about it changed. Yes, I had a friend and a loving sister, but I never wanted to live as much and I had never wanted to be something like I wanted to be with Harry. Harry gave me this sense of needing that I'd never felt before.

Even though he was being taken away from me, I did not want to forget. Too many good memories would float away if I would let myself forget about Harry.

Anyway, he would be in my life everyday until graduation in June, a mere month and a half away. Also, a little part of me told me as hard as I would try to avoid him, stay away and forget, I would not be able to. There would always be our memories.

One bite of his front teeth upon his perfect, pink lips or a simple comb of his fingers through his long hair, would send me into an eternal bliss once again. And I was a person with bipolar self-will.

As I stared into the bathroom mirror, I saw the changed girl that stared back at me. She was truly loved by a boy and was about to break his heart to save her already broken family.

It was crazy to think my life had come to this.

•••

There were two creaks that sounded from the outside wood floor boards and a sudden shut of the sliding back door that made my heart skip more beats that I wanted.

I lifted my head from its place on the pillow were my head had eventually drifted off to. I did not even notice that I had been crying. I wiped my tears as I always did since I was a child. I crept to my door opening it slowly.

The curiosity got the best of the young girl though. Her short, straight, brown locks swayed from side to side as she sat herself up. She hopped out of bed and silently tip-toed to her door of her small room. Carefully, as she had done many times before, she turned the knob, cracked the door open slightly, and peaked her head out.

I felt like a child investigating her own crime. It seemed silly, but my heart raced away at the thrill of what the sound was or what made the sound.

Every light was now turned off in the house.

My stomach dropped again as a broad figure of a man appeared in the shadows of the hallway. He walked past the corridor and out of sight so I used the silence to my best ability and started slowly tip-toeing.

The girl couldn't see where her mother was going anymore so she opened the door more and sneaked her small and slim body into the hallway. Again, she tip-toed on the rug.

I peaked my head around to where I thought the shadowy man went, but I saw nothing in the lack of light.

I sighed in relief and went in the direction towards the light switch that I had flicked on earlier. Maybe it was my paranoia of something lurking in the shadows or the thought of the empty house being not so empty after all, that was getting to my nerves.

"I just have to stop at the supermarket for something that I need for tomorrow. That's all baby," the lady replied to her daughter and then places a gentle kiss on her forehead. A deep yawn escaped the young girls mouth moments later.

It was a quick and skilled move when I look back at it.

My forearm was grabbed and a towel was stuffed inside my open mouth that was about to scream for help in the house that I thought I was alone in.

I couldn't help but breath in the fumes. I choked on the towel and the bad smell coming through my nose. The affect wasn't immediate, but the strong man held me in place tightly, giving my shoulder a run for its money.

I cried and continued to choke on the appalling towel while I struggled for my freedom.

"You need to go back to bed," the mother stated in a soft tone after observing the yawn that came from her daughter.

"No," the girl frowned.

Eventually my body gave up from fighting the man who had arm muscles four times the size as mine. My eyes started to faintly close on their own as I freaked out and tried to stay awake as I could.

The mother tenderly placed her daughter back into the bed. She pulled the sheets up to her neck.

"Don't worry about me baby girl. I love you with all my heart. I love you to the moon and back and farther," she said with a kiss and a sniffle.

The young girl, already falling asleep, muttered something back. "I love you to the moon and back too, mommy."

But minutes later, the aphotic shadows took over my sight and all senses.

Wiping her eyes for any tears, the woman made her way out of the room, and eventually out of the house with the fully-packed black duffel bag.