To Hell With Decency (Frerard AU) [COMPLETED]

Twenty Five

Patrick falls apart again slightly in the car and starts crying softly as Frank drives so I hug him again, taking off my seat belt and ignoring the rules to try to calm him back down. I don't like the idea of him staying in the house where he found Pete but there's not a lot we can do, maybe he'll be fine because he has to learn to be able to live and deal with the sadness otherwise he'll just spend weeks as a crying broken lump.

Since I don't know whats happening in Petes room I take him inside and into his own room. Hopefully nothing in here to trigger anymore frantic crying and breakdowns.

"G-Gee?" "Yeah Patty" "Stay with me" "I'm not leaving, I'd never leave you" "You're staying the night?" "Yeah, I'm staying right here" "No it's ok, go be with Frankie, I'll be fine here" "Why would I do that?" "Do what?" "Go with Frankie instead of staying with you?" "He's your boyfriend so I thought you'd wanna cheer each other up, don't let me stop you"

I'm really confused but me and Frank did only break up yesterday and in all the drama of today we probably never told Pete and Patrick. Patrick thinks we're still together but we're not, that's why he's telling me I don't have to stay. He's telling me to go but I think he wants me to stay with him and I want to anyway just to take care of him.

"I'm staying here babe" "No don't let me ruin the day for you" "Patrick I need to tell you something" "What?" "Me and Frank broke up" "W-what?" "We broke up" "When?" "Yesterday" "You broke my best friends heart?" "No I didn't break his heart and he didn't break mine, we have great sex but we're not in love and we don't work well together" "But you do, you're awesome together" "No we don't work, we're trying to be friends but everything's awkward when we're together. Maybe if we all hang out together it's alright but together it doesn't work, we don't love each other so it just doesn't work"

Patrick seems even sadder now and just hugs me and pushes his face into my chest "I'm sorry about everything Gerard" "Nothing's your fault" "Everything's ruined" "That's not your fault, Pete isn't your fault and me and Frank isn't your fault and it's not about you. You're the thing making it better, if I didn't have you I'd be so sad because Pete's not here and I broke up with Frank so I wouldn't have anyone. Thank you for being here" "Am I helping you?" "Yes, so much" "I'm glad, will you stay with me?" "I already said I will" "I need to sleep, I know it's only like 8 but I need to sleep" "I know, get changed now"

Patrick nods and pulls out a blue shirt and batman pyjama pants then starts taking off his jeans so I look away and let him change and sit on the bed. "Hey Gerard do you want some clothes?" "Yeah I can just wear a shirt and boxers or something if you want" "It's ok, you let me wear your stuff and I'll let you have anything you want, I don't want you to get cold"

He gets me boxers, a hoodie and plain black pyjama pants which I change into then sit in his bed next to him and put an arm around him "Do you wanna sleep now?" "Yes, yes please Gee" "Ok, do you want me to sleep on the floor or what?" "You're staying with me?" "Of course, that's what I said" "Ok, you can have the bed if you want and I'll stay on the floor" "No way, I'll be fine" "Sleep with me then" "What?" "Stay in bed with me" "Are you sure?" "Yes, please just hold me and be with me for a bit, I don't wanna be alone" "Ok, I won't let you be alone, I'll be here with you"

I'm not sure if this is the best idea but I let him get in then get in beside him and hold him close. We're barely fitting since the bed is pretty small but it's nice and hopefully all he can feel is me so he'll be happy at least for the night.

"Gerard come closer" "I can't get any closer" "I just need more of you". I push him back against the wall and even though I'm not awfully bigger then him I put my arms around him and hold him to my chest. He's totally trapped there and I thought he'd be scared but he just sighs and burrows even deeper into me "This is perfect, thank you Gee" "Anything for you" "I just wanna be so wrapped in you and forget everything" "Then do that, just be with me and forget the world"

Patrick curls up against me even more and shivers "It's cold, come here" "Here take this". I pull off my hoodie then gently wiggle it onto Patrick on top of his shirt and hug him against my bare chest "There you go darling, are you better now?" "You could have gotten me another one" "Yeah but I don't mind, I don't wanna move from you" "Thank you, barely anyone's ever treated me this good" "Only me and Pete?" "Yeah, pretty much" "Well you deserve to be treated amazing so that's what I'll do" "Thank you, Frank should have held onto you" "Well he's still got me, just not on his dick anymore" "And I have you too" "You'd have me even if we were still dating" "But not like this" "Maybe not but you'll always have me however you need me"

We lie in silence and I just enjoy the feel of his soft warm breath against my chest and enjoy having someone to sleep like this with since I hadn't done this with Frank in ages.

"Gee I can't sleep, can we talk" "I don't think I'll be getting to sleep for a while either so sure, whatever you need" "What do you wanna talk about?" "Anything you want" "It wasn't our fault that you and Frank broke up was it?" "No you guys kept us together, when you left to spend time together all week we realised how we don't work. It was fun as a group but without you guys everything's awkward" "Oh, I guess its best then" "Yeah I told you, I don't love him and even if things hadn't got awkward we would have broken up because a relationship needs love and we didn't have that. Once we needed more from each other than sex it was going to fall apart"

After a second of silence Patrick tightens his hand on my shoulder and yells out "I was going to break up with Pete". There's silence until I figure out what to say which is a while and probably doesn't make Patrick feel good.

"What are you talking about?" "I was thinking about breaking up with him" "Why?" "Same as you guys, I don't love him" "But you do" "Yeah, he's my best friend and my brother and my soulmate but I don't wanna marry him, I don't wanna have kids or have sex or anything. He's my best friend and kissing feels wrong, touching feels wrong, it all feels wrong. We cuddle and be naked around each other all the time, we have since we were kids but I don't wanna have sex. It's alright sex but your right, I want love but I love him like a brother and a best friend but I can't explain it"

I feel so bad for Patrick because he's hysterical so I try to help him feel better. "It's like kissing your mother or something, you love her with all your heart and you never wanna loose her but you don't wanna have sex with her" "Yeah, he's closer to me then any friend or family member or anything. I never want to loose him but I also never want to have to have sex with him again. It's like sex with a cat or something, it feels wrong, it feels so wrong" "You love him but there's no spark, there's no lust, there's nothing like that" "No just brotherly affection and best friend affection"

It's a shock I have to say, I thought they worked but maybe that's what they thought about me and Frank, we just don't work in the way we should. Me and Frank work for sex but not for love, Pete and Patrick work for best friends and love but not sex and maybe that's why these relationships are failing.

"Gee, do you think he knew?" "What?" "Do you think Pete knew I didn't wanna be with him and I caused this?" "No no no, he couldn't know if you didn't know yourself and he wouldn't just do this" "What if it was me?" "It wasn't, I know it. Maybe if you told him he might have got upset but there's no way he could have known and there's no way he'd do it if he did think you were going to break up with him. What if you didn't think it and he attempted this? He wouldn't do it unless he was sure and he couldn't be sure"

I think Patrick is really hurting and this conversation has gone too far so we can keep talking tomorrow after he sleeps and clears his head like he needs to.

"Patrick come on, this isn't your fault and you need to sleep, it's time to sleep" "Stay with me?" "Of course" "Stay with me always?" "Always, I'll be here as long as you need and if that's the rest of our lives then that's how long I'll be here"