"너 요즘에 어떻게 지내고 있나"
dear jungkook,
me and suji met early today and went to cj e&m center to watch today's live broadcast of m countdown and your group's pre-recording. i was too excited for this. i listened to bts' whole album all night long. i even memorized the fanchants and wore this new pink blouse that i bought just to use for special occasions.
we got in after waiting for a few hours. all the fans were screaming and anticipating your performance today. if you only know how proud i felt when i saw all of them cheering for you and your members.
after a couple of minutes, i saw you and the rest of bts walk towards the center of the stage. in that moment, i felt like the whole world just stopped and it seemed like you and i were the only thing that mattered. my heart skipped a beat. jungkook, you were there. standing in front of me. after almost 2 years, i finally saw you again. if it only wasn't because of the security, i would've ran up to the stage and hug you as tight as i could. i wanted to be close to you enough to fill in all those times we were apart. but of course, it's not as easy as it sounds. but seeing you there made me feel happy. very happy.
you started performing and i swear, i forgot everything i memorized last night. i felt like my soul wasn't in my body. i felt like it was with you. even when all the girls started screaming when jimin showed his abs, my eyes were still stuck on you. you have grown so much and you won't believe how proud i felt watching you on the stage we just used to watch when we were kids. it all feels like a dream.
after the performance, you all gathered in stage to say your thank you's for the support you've been receiving. i saw you roaming your eyes around the audience and suddenly looked at my direction. you stopped for a couple of seconds and then flashed a smile and waved your hands. i was dumbfounded.
did you just smile and wave at me?
everything didn't sink in and i was frozen in my seat. not until the girls in front and behind me started screaming.
"wah! oppa looked at me!"
"no he didn't! he was looking at me!"
"i don't think so. i'm 100% sure it's me cause me made an eye contact!"
"i was the one he made eye contact with! stop saying nonsense!"
and that's when i realized. maybe you really didn't look at me. i was just overreacting and maybe being a little delusional. out of all these 300 people, how would you even notice me?
