{ suggestion: play the song on the multimedia section while reading, para feel lang lol. }
1st person's point of view
i quietly stood in the line while holding a small box in my hands as i wait for my turn. am i really gonna do this now? am i sure that i won't be having any regrets after this? what if this just makes everything worse? i had so many questions in my mind while standing there but one thing's for sure, i really want him to get these.
'it was all just a joke. we're kids, right?' the words he said on the interview kept on playing in my head. and everytime it does, my heart aches a little bit more than it did before. guess i was the only one inlove back then. guess i was the only one who took everything seriously. the one who wanted both of us to work out. the one who was happy. guess it was all just in my head.
but letting that sink in, everything was too good to be true. he was everything i could ever ask for. he's now out of reach. and i'm just...nothing. i am nothing compared to him.
maybe they were right. who was i to be with him? maybe i was just really delusional.
they we're right. i don't deserve someone like him.
"ma'am?" my soul went back to reality when the lady called me. i was too deep in my thoughts that i didn't realize it was already my turn.
"hi," i greeted her with a smile. "i'm just gonna send this box to this address." i placed the box on the table and grabbed the little piece of paper from my pocket where the address of the receiver is written.
"ah, bangtan sonyeondan?" she asked. the address might've been familiar to her. "i've seen some people send gifts and letters to them." she continued.
i smiled a little. "they've been getting popular these days." i said.
she nodded as a reply. "what's your name?" she asked, as she filled up the shipping form.
i shook my head, "can i just leave myself as anonymous? i'm not sure if i can reveal my identity..." i added.
"ah, alright. sure." she just shrugged and continued typing.
my hands were both so cold and my knees were trembling. this is it. i'm finally here. there's no turning back.
"may i know what's inside this box?" the lady asked.
i paused and then answered, "memories. a whole bunch of memories." and i gave her a faint smile.
it was a box of everything we had. from the first pictures, the candy wrappers, the small little doodles we used to draw when we were kids, the cute polaroid pictures we took...and the letters. everything was there. and i'm finally sending them to him.
"may i know the name of the recipient?" the lady again asked.
i took a deep breath before saying, "jungkook. jeon jungkook."
i realized that i was the only one holding on in this relationship. a relationship that ended without me knowing. and now i'm finally letting go. i'm letting go of everything and every memories we both shared together. i want to move on. i want to be truly and fully happy again, even without him.
it's gonna be hard, but i'll endure it. if he was able to throw everything away easily, then so can i.
i saw how my box was put inside the truck and was ready for the shipment. "here's your receipt." the lady handed me a small piece of paper. "he will receive it within two days."
"thank you." i replied.
i started to walk out the door and took a deep breath.
i hope you remember me again, jungkook. i hope all these letters will bring back all the happy memories we had and all the smile and laughter we both shared.
do i ever regret meeting you? no.
do i ever regret falling in love with you? maybe.
if i only knew it would hurt this much. if i only knew it would be like this. if i only knew i would be the one left hanging here, i should've stopped myself, or my heart rather, from beating so fast when you first showed me your smiling face.
jungkook, you will always have a special place in my heart no matter what happens. we had so much memories, and they'll be with me...forever. but you have to let go of some things some times, right? no matter how much it hurts. it's a part of moving on and growing up. we're not kids anymore. we need to face the cruel world of reality.
you're happy where you are now. you're with amazing people who are giving you so much love. you're living your dream. what else could i ask for?
it's time for another chapter in my life to begin. i need to stop depending my happiness on you. it's time for me to work on my dreams, since i was done with yours. i hope you are well, wherever you are right now.
i guess where this is where everything ends.
i felt a small droplet of water on my cheeks. that droplet that was soon followed by another one...and another one...until it started raining.
"great. just great." i whispered to myself with annoyance. because today was a great day to rain. a day when i didn't bring any umbrella.
i started to walk towards the waiting shed to shelter myself from the pouring rain. but as i was walking, i noticed a shoe of a man walking beside me. i didn't pay attention to it at first, until i noticed that that man was sharing his umbrella with me.
i stopped walking. still not looking at the guy, my whole body froze and my heart was beating so fast. that scent. that familiar scent that i haven't smell for a very long time.
i slowly turned around and looked up to see who the guy was. just like what i thought,
"hey," he said. "it's good to see you again."
fin.
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read the author's note on the next part for announcement!
