Just an illusion. | Jaythan AU | co-written with @chasing_TW

Chapter Four

Chapter four.

The next morning, Jay woke up to the sight of Nathan laying next to him. Before he had opened his eyes, he thought he had felt someone stroking his cheek, where a swollen bruise was formed. When he opened his eyes Nathan stared back with a small but sad smile. Nathan wanted to know what had happened to Jay, but Jay wouldn't talk about it, so Nathan respected that.

Nathan knew Max was waiting for Jay outside as per usual, so he didn't want to keep him.

"Jay, you should get up. Your friend is outside."

"You came back", Jay replied, completely ignoring what Nathan had just said. Max was the last person on Jay's mind; he was too amazed that for once the brunette boy in front of him is not just an illusion. Could it be that Jay wasn't as crazy as he thought?

"Yes, I wanted to make sure you were okay. But now I must go, and you should too."

"I don't want to go back, Nathan", Jay said quietly.

"I know", Nathan replied before bolting off of the bed and disappearing into nothing. Jay ran after him and bumped right into Chloe.

"Jay, are you alright?" she asked.

"Yes", Jay mumbled before returning to his room to get dressed. Jay heard some commotion coming from outside. He looked out the window and saw Max arguing with someone. It was Siva.

"Just shut up Siva! You were there and did nothing to stop Tom and his coward friends yesterday! If you really felt so bad for Jay, you would have stopped them!"

"Max you have to understand! I can't stand up to Tom! He'd make my life hell too!"

"That's exactly my point! Yes you can! I did, and guess what? I don't regret it one bit. And you know what else, Siva? You're as much of a coward as Tom is!"

The two boys continued arguing. Jay felt like punching a wall. A voice inside his head told him that he didn't need anyone to defend him. But Jay knew well he didn't have the bollocks to do it himself. He hated how everyone pitied him, as if he were a hobo on the street begging for money. He never asked anyone for anything, so why should people feel the need to treat him like a hurt puppy?

Jay also knew all these thoughts were part of the schizophrenia kicking in. After getting dressed Jay took his medication, and the voices disappeared for now. Jay slowly made his way towards the boys, keeping his head down and his hoodie covering the bruised part of his face. Both boys stopped arguing instantly.

"Morning, mate", Max said. Siva gave a small nod towards Jay. Jay gave his small awkward wave in return.

"Just wanted to see if you were okay", Siva said uncomfortably.

"I'm fine", Jay said, his face still facing the ground.

"Okay", he replied before waving and leaving.

"What was that all about", Jay asked as Max and he climbed into the car.

"I think he feels guilty", Max said. Jay nodded. He wanted to tell him about Nathan, but Max would think he was seeing things again and hearing voices that weren't really there. He chose not to say anything. That way it could be his and Nathan's little secret.

~~

Jay really had to go to the loo during the day, but he knew if he went during class Tom would be there with his friends. He decided the best time to go would be in between classes. His plan failed. Once he slipped into the bathroom, he came face to face with Tom.

"Oh, look who's decided to show up again!" Tom said with a devilish smirk. "You'd think you'd have learned your lesson by now, Jay."

Jay refused to look up at him. He only stood in the corner and held his arm. This angered Tom. He always wanted to be looked in the face when he was talking.

"I'm talking to you freak!" Tom yells.

"I'm quite aware of that", Jay replied before he could stop himself. Now he had made things worse.

Tom pushed Jay against the wall roughly, and Jay whimpered in pain. He still would not look up at Tom.

"Are you talking back to me? No one talks back to me!"

"I just did", Jay said. He wished he would shut up but for whatever reason his mouth wasn't obeying him today.

Tom pushed harder. "You know handsome, I really don't like that you're talking back... So shut up!" he yells whilst bringing his knee up to Jay's stomach. Jay's breath was knocked out of him. His legs were weak and felt like jelly, but Jay would not give Tom the satisfaction of falling down so quickly.

Tom roughly grabs Jay's chin and forces Jay to look him in the eyes. Those hazel eyes once filled with warmth and friendship were now filled with hate and coldness. The Tom Jay had known was gone. He didn't know why, but he wasn't sure he wanted to find out. Something told him Tom's change wasn't fully over his own schizophrenia.

"There, that's better. See handsome, if you would cooperate, maybe I wouldn't have to ruin that pretty little face of yours. But since you don't", here he pointed to Jay's left eye, "that's what happens. I almost feel bad for you, but then again, you're bloody mental. You deserve everything you get." Tom laughed and was about to swing at him when a voice from the other corner of the bathroom said, "Tom, that's enough. You already beat him up badly yesterday. You're going to kill him one of these days." Both lads turn to see Siva leaning against the wall. Maybe Max's yelling had knocked some sense into him, Jay thought. Tom rolled his eyes and let Jay go with a hard shove, saying "Fine. But next time you won't be so lucky, McGuiness." Siva and Tom walked out together, leaving Jay alone. At least he thought.

"He's a coward", Nathan said.

" I know", Jay replied. "But there's no changing him."

"I wasn't going to let Tom hurt you again", Nathan said.

"What do you mean?" Jay asked, clearly confused.

"Let's just say Siva didn't stand up for you because he felt nice or Max called him a coward." Nathan smiled and took Jay's hand. Now Jay was more convinced Nathan was real, but again he didn't want to conclude that he was and then find out that Nathan was just the illusion he feared he might be.

"Screw this", Nathan said. "Let's take you home, Jay." For the first time in years, Jay smiled. This boy, this so-called illusion, was beginning to make Jay feel again, change his life. He was doing what Max or anyone couldn't.

He was making Jay feel again.

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Written by @chasing_TW